A
female
age
30-35,
*tressed writer
writes:I met a guy at a party. typical story i know. he's a friend of a friend and we felt an instant connection. i'm very shy when it comes to boys and have very little experience. my past boyfriends have not been great and i was hoping for a fresh start. however, the guy met my best friend. she is more beautiful, more intelligent and more talented. it turns out their connection was stronger. my friend knew of my feelings and still went ahead with it. i feel stupid and ugly now. i also feel betrayed. i try not to hate her but its hard. i'm scared about what i might say or do. i've tried forgeting him but can't. i see them everyday and it just makes it worse. i love my friend very much and don't want to ruin our friendship. what should i do?? please help
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, stressed writer +, writes (28 October 2009):
stressed writer is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank god I've finally moved on. That could have been messy. I now rather like another guy but am shy and unsure. Any advice would be much apppreciated.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (1 October 2009):
You're not ugly or stupid at all. He just wasn't the guy for you. There's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you at all. When you meet a guy, take your time getting to know him. Better to find the right guy once, than the wrong guy twice. You'll find someone, you just need to have more confidence in yourself (guys like that) and not compare yourself to others. He wasn't for you, but maybe the next guy will be. I asked ten girls out and they all said no. Number 11 said yes.
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A
female
reader, stressed writer +, writes (1 October 2009):
stressed writer is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you!! I owe you one. You've made me see the light as it were. Your opinion has really helped. Thank you so much.
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A
female
reader, stressed writer +, writes (1 October 2009):
stressed writer is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you!! I owe you one. You've made me see the light as it were. Your opinion has really helped. Thank you so much.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): First of all, stop telling yourself these lies that your friend is more beautiful, or more intelligent, or more talented. Everyone thinks that someone else is better than them, but that doesn't mean it's true. Yes, they may have had a stronger connection, but that doesn't mean she's better, not for a second. It just means that they hit it off.
You will find someone too, someone who likes you for you, appreciates your talents and beauty and intelligence, and who treats you well. As for your friendship with your best friend, I think you're being very mature about this. You're actually analyzing the situation instead of just throwing in the towel. I think what needs to happen is that you two need to talk. Otherwise things just build up and it gets worse in the silences. If they are happy together, then I mean, that's how it is. There's a guy out there for you too, and she will be happy for you when you find him too. I know this probably wasn't all what you wanted to hear, but I hope it helped some.
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