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female
age
41-50,
*otsoflove
writes: I have been involved with a man for 7 years. When we met i was 21 and he was 35, married with 3 kids.(he did get divorced), supposedly for me. over the years he has lied and cheated, yet he says that i am the only one he really loves and would consider spending the rest of his life with. we have separated partially, but never completely, there was always some contact, and sex. I was away for 1 month and when i got back i didn't call him. Right before Christmas he called me and wanted me to go to the family house for Xmas eve. I went and was the center of his attention. It felt good, but didn't last long. He hid his phone, and seemed distant. Needless to say a few days later a girl slept over his house. I knew he was not exclusive with me, i just want him to be truthful. Over the course of a week(till New Years) he weaved another web of lies. On monday the 1st when he left i went thru some things, and found pic's, and a sexy santa outfit, not mine! along with presents that were hidden. All the time he was telling me more lies. I watched him hide the picture when i came over unexpectedly, and he said i was crazy, well i found it right where i saw him hide it, but even to my face he said he didn't. Why do i put up with this. My girlfriend and i had a bonfire last night and burned pictures, and letters of him and the ones or the other girls, yes more than one. For some crazy reason i still think he loves me and is just really sick..... I need to stay strong, but I am very insecure now. All i think, since i have seen what the other girls look like, is that i am not tall enough, blond enough and my boobs aren't big enough... I look like Pocahontas, they look like strippers.What is wrong with my brain??????????
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boobs, christmas, divorce, insecure, stripper Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fairhalflin  +, writes (8 January 2007):
 He's a liar and full of grade-a crap! blow him off! he's not worth your thoughts or anything for that matter...yes, you might say that you love him right now but, think about it, what's better? sit at home and mourn about it? or go on with your life? go out! get to meet new people...he lied to you and if you stay with him he's not going to stop! he's gonna keep hurting you like he is right now. once a cheater is always a cheater as he proved it! dont answer his calls and just tell him to go f*&^! himself...you dont need it. think of what you want...and think about your own happiness.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2007): wow thats the best answer i have read on this site from eyeswideopen .cheating never prospers and what goes around comes around
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (3 January 2007):
 Sorry I have no sympathy when cheaters hook up and then wonders of wonders find themselves on the receiving end. Now you know how you made his wife feel 7 years ago. Payback's a bitch!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2007): So I take it from your story here that when you were 21 you met and started fooling around with a married man and you have been in a sexual relationship with him for 7 years and you felt a huge ego boost when he told you that he left his wife for you, however, much to your surprise he has never remained faithful to you and keeps strange big boobed stripper type women's pictues and costumes hidden around the house and then turns the focus off of his bad behavior by calling you crazy when you confront him with it.
You ask what is wrong with you and why do you do this...do you really want to know the truth about yourself or do you want to stay feeling this way for 7 years, 2 months and some odd days?
It does not matter why you do it or what is wrong with you, you have made a very poor choice to make yourself emotionally vulnerable to an emotionally unavailable man who uses women and has the fidelity of a fruit fly.
The only thing you need to do is to change your behavior, stop doing this, stop getting a fix for your poor self esteem by trying to take this man away from other women, do you really want to look like a porn queen? He sounds like a real loser to me, so who cares if he has bad taste in women....you don't need this kind of drama in your life.
Work on feeling better about yourself by achieving some goals for yourself, one of which is to date only single men who treat you with dignity and respect.
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A
female
reader, Pretty and proud  +, writes (3 January 2007):
 you seem much better than this! nobody deserves to be cheated on it makes you feel worthless and not good enough for him when really he is not good enough for you. leave him straight away, you are a woman not a toy and you have every right to leave, go and live with a girlfriend for a bit and have fun whilest you still can. you will be heartbroken but when you settle down with a better guy who treats you right you will look back and think why was i with that nasty man! i really hope you make the right decision i respect you for putting up with this and being so strong about it, i really do but id respect you more if you leave him im sure plenty of people would! i wish you all the best honey xxx
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