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female
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*.BrokenxHearts.x
writes:Okay i'm just goin' to jump straight into this question.Basically me and this guy have gotten quite close over the past three and a half months and I only recently found out that he had a girlfriend during this time me and him were getting close.We both admitted our feelings for each other which are quite deep and genuine.But I don't like the fact that he lied to me and has really hurt me.He split up with his girlfriend because he wanted to be with me but i'm finding it very hard to forgive him although I really want to be able to.I really want to be with him but this pain and anger i'm feeling at this current moment is standing in the way of any happiness I may find with him.Should I follow my head which is saying forget about him and move on he lied to you and doesn't deserve to be forgiven or should I follow my heart which is saying forgive him.I really do like him and I know he really likes me.I just hate being lied to and at the minute I really am finding it so unbelivably hard to forgive him.I just really need some advice.Thank you for reading. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): Forgive him but don't fall for him.
I had the same typ of thing. But we both lied to eachother I was madly in love with him we told our feelings and so fourth then he tells me he's grouned so he can't go to the mall, I go to themall with a friend and he's there with another girl. That just pissed me off.
We broke up and I forgave him I still have big feelings for him I just told him that that was so wrong and I didnt want to date him again.
so like I said forgive him but don't date him.
play hard to get with guys, it works you will get rely good guys after you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): I have been in the same situation before with my last boyfriend - he was so sweet and charming, and we fell for each other so fast, but I found out later that he'd had TWO girlfriends when he was getting to know me and flirting with me. He really did break things off with both of them to be with me but the problem with a guy that does something like that is that it is not an isolated incident. It's not like the lying was just a one time thing for the particular situation. He will manipulate you again and keep secrets from you again in order to keep things in his life the way he wants - it is all part of a a behavior PATTERN, unfortunately. I would say get out while you can!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): It really depends on you and your values and what you are looking for in this relationship, and I am not sure at all exactly your definition of a girlfriend that he had while he was getting to know you, or if the two of you have been sexually intimate, or if he implied to you that you are the only one.
I don't think it is a great sign that he had an exclusive relationship but was giving you lots of attention, tells you his feelings and breaks up with his girlfriend over you. This is pretty common, but it tells me that he is not really all that serious, he is just moving from one girl to the next instead of remaining single and dating, which is supposed to be about getting to know several people at once and being honest about it, and seeing if you feel like being in a relationship with someone later on...then you may decide to make that an exclusive relationship....so on the one hand, he is finishing it with someone before entering an exclusive relationship with you, but I would not put my whole heart into this guy or make some sort of exclusive arrangement with him for at least 6 months so you can see just how serious he is about you. Also, if you can hold off having sex for as long as possible with him that will tell you if he if really interested in you for you, he will be happy just being in your company....of course eventually the relationship has to move forward to the next level, don't just rush the relationship.
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