A
female
age
51-59,
*ala1186
writes:Me and my husband chose to date for a year before getting married, and we did not live together previously. Now we all know with every relationship comes baggage, but Ive been married before, and outside of that, I was in another long 8 year relationship that ended without marriage. Needless to say, I know what I want and dont want in a man, and I made that very clear. So that there were no discrepancies and that no ones time was wasted..Needless to say he took a years worth worth of information and twisted it to his benefit and and presented and dated me with a representative of a man that he knew I would fall in love with. He assured me that his credit was good, that he was financially stable, that he was criminally clear (driving record).. and that he was an overall stable guy.. Not so. We all know the representative is hard to be, your true colors shine through eventually.. Well after we got married, not even 2 weeks after he began getting letters from the DMV, where his license is revoked and has been for some time, he tried to lye and say it was letters because he saw an accident, but because im in the law enforcement field I ensured him what he was dealing with, in fact he hadnt had a license for sometime now and had about 7000 dollars in surcharges..I would never have even dated a guy so irresponsible let alone marry him. Lets get back to the finances, come to find out, bad credit, no money, and yes aside from surcharges, everyones has bills.I ended up putting out 11000 cash for the wedding and 6000 credit that he has to pay off cause its the residual of his portion of the wedding to pay because 3 months into planning and 1 month before the wedding he lost his job, I cant blame him for that, but if he was financially stable like he said, it wouldnt have been this bad..Im so fed up with all the lies...Its everybodys fault but his own what is happening to him...and to top it all off..my wedding ring ....FAKE!!!!! I want a divorce!!! My question, DO you think Im to harsh? You cant build a marriage on quicksand and lies...who goes into marriage in counselling! I fell in love with his representative, the guy he made to believe he was, not this guy! I dont even know who this guy is....
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divorce, fell in love, lost his job, money, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lala1186 +, writes (21 July 2010):
lala1186 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOne thing I can add is that I do have a pre-nup in place, so I will be safeguarded from all that financial bull..Its just sad that my marriage was short lived, I mean true happiness is within, but its nice to have a mate to share it with!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): One thing I can say is that I do have a Pre-nup in order!!! But its just sad that it was just short lived!
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (20 July 2010):
 Go to saferelationshipsmagazine.com or lovefraud.com....see if any of that rings true for you.
You may have been duped by a sociopath or a character disordered person, it happens to the best of us...
I'd get that divorce as quickly responsible. Once you are married his debts are yours...get a good lawyer to help you free yourself of his bad credit.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 July 2010):
 I think you jumped into that marriage with your eyes closed. You saw what you wanted to see.
You could have paid $14.99 and gotten a back ground check on him, before getting married.
I don't blame you though, don't get me wrong. I would get an annulment if possible instead.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): Good day!
To be honest with you I have been in a 5 and a half year relationship with an older man who I discovered owes money to the IRS, can't find a job, has only held temporary jobs since I've known him, is lazy, and has lied about smaller things at one time that I excused for insecurity. I just broke up with him last week. I don't want to be responsible for another adult and stuck in a situation that he may never resolve.
Unfortunately it appears you married a lying loser. I guess we'll have to start administering lie detectors before dating. If he lied about that who's to say what else he has lied about. If I were you I would leave-divorce just to save yourself long term trouble and heartache. Women deserve better including you!
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