A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi People I'm finding this really hard, I've been split with my bf just over a month, and I'm still in contact as in friends and I still sometimes sleep with him in the car, Well last nite I went round his house for the first time since we split and we got on well, anyway his mum said to him this morning and he said me but his mum says she's not happy about it because I still have feelings for him, but he says that I know the score, that we are just friends and then laughed fuck buddies The thing is I do still like him a lot and he knows this but he's not doing anything about it. I just want to go and ask him sometimes what's so wrong with me that he won't go back to me, he says he likes me a lot. I just can't understand that we sleep together and talk every day, but he still doesn't want me back. I hate feeling like this and I feel I need to know what is so wrong with me for us not to get back together, especially when he knows I would go back to him.What does everyone else think I should do please help me?I don't want to lose him as a friend and not have him at all. He left me to go back to his ex, but it's not how he planned would work out so now he's looking on websites but it's hurting me that he knows. What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, gumbbo +, writes (18 February 2009):
He is sleeping with you because you let him. He doesn't love you or you would be together. He knows now that he doesn't have to devote himself to you because you let him have sex with you anyway. So now he gets to chase other women and look for someone he really likes, whilst still getting regular sex. He talks to you on the phone because either he has nothing better to do or just to keep you sweet.
Sorry, but i am a bloke, i have been like this with many women. All you have to do is value yourself higher than a quick f**k for him, until you do that's all you will ever be to him.
Mark.
A
female
reader, sexy choclate  +, writes (10 February 2009):
Well oviously he don't want you..so what you need 2 do is get t over it and move on maybe if he see you move on then he will see that you aint all firh him then he will want you back...but 4 now he jus sittin back laughin as you suffer. And your a female I don't think that's a good quality 2 possesss.so get on your feet and do the damn thing...you cando it if you believe and praise god...good luck oh sorry you won't need cause gods on your side...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): I have just gone though this but the over way the man is a c*** and dose not deserve a person like you I am not being nice I don't know you but I know how you are feeling. you are going to get heart very heart he we find someone else and you will mean shit until he has no one again and your tnere. and this will keep happening until he find someone he things he love and your just left with pain and emptness . I hope all work out for you x x x rob arg
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): Firstly forgive urself (you have done nothing wrong and you are a wonderful person - he has wronged you) from the guys point of view - guys do not go back to exes they are using as 'f--- buddies' sorry but let this ass go and find someone who will love you. good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): I don't think his having his cake and eating it while you have nothing much back from him is working.
Tell him you're either back on or not and that if you're not, there is no reason to have sex with him or hang out with him.
Why should he have it both ways.
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A
female
reader, Reebe +, writes (29 November 2008):
 Most of us have been in a situation where we love someone so much that we let them get away with things that we are not happy with.
I feel for you, but you have to find the strength to stop seeing this guy, not even as a friend, no friend would treat youlike this. I think deep down you know that.
Your confidence must be low, and it will get lower and lower if you keep doing this.
You deserve to be with someone who will treat you with respect, not someone who just wants to sleep with you in his car.
This will get easier I promise, and eventually you will move on and meet someone who deserves you, be stong.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, Bobbyjo +, writes (29 November 2008):
 Hey, I went trhough the same thing with my ex. He split with me for someone else, but it didnt work out so he started sleeping with me again, me hoping that he would get back with me allowed him to use me, but he never did come back so I have now cut off all contact. He also told his friends, like your ex did with his mum, that I was just a fuck whilst he was looking for the next girlfriend. Yes, I know, it hurts like hell but when your deeply in love with someone you will go to any lengths to have them. Yes you lose respect for yourself but at the time you are so desperate to have them you dont care. But the longer you carry on how you are the more respect he is going to lose for you and walk all over you. Please stop allowing him to do this. Youre worth much more than that.
And to AskOlderSister - You have obviously never been in love with someone. This poster came on here for advice and you havent given any, only relaying what was said and then giving your harsh opinion. Dont you understand that you cannot help who you fall for?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): No matter how difficult it might be, you have to stop seeing this guy. He is not doing you any good. He is selfish. He is using you for sex. You allow him to use you for sex. Gosh, he is getting it for free while he is roaming around looking for the girl of his dreams.
He is treating you like dirt and I am sure it must hurt you very much. There is only one way to stop this hurt and that is to stop this guy from suing you.
He has no respect for you and will not get back with you. Have enough dignity and self respect and stop all contact with him. It will be easier to heal and to forget about him if you cut all contact with him.
Find someone who will treat you with respect, who will love you and who will make love to you and not just use you for sex.
I am so sorry, I know it is difficult for you to understand now and to imagine being without him in the future, but you deserve better. You need to think about your life and your future and surely you want more then what he is offering.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (29 November 2008):
 For some reason, you are not the woman for him. He left you for an ex and now you are being used as he finds his next connection.
The reason he doesn't want to be with you may not be anything you can control and it doesn't mean something is wrong with you.
However, everytime you sleep with him (especially in the car) and when he introduces you as his F-Buddy, he is mocking you and he loses a little more of his respect for you each time. And each time you give yourself to him sexually in the hopes that he will want you back, you are losing respect for yourself.
So, for your own good, stop being around him. Cut off all interaction with him. It is possible he will miss you and make you some promises but believe me, they will be empty. This relationship is over. You are better than this and if he ever does want you back, I would not take him as he has learned that it is ok to mistreat you. (You let him.)
There is someone better out there for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2008): He's now at the point where he's treating you like a joke. Have some self respect and kick him to the curb.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (29 November 2008):
 Be his friend if y ou want but take the sex element out of it. He is using you and I think deep down you know he is because he is not treating you right. Sounds like he is keeping you hanging on this way until he finds someone else. If you put distance between you anyway he may realise what you do mean to him. Don't be on call for his every whim. hope this helps.
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