A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I have a dilemma.. I’ve been going to the gym for about 2 years (at this location). There is this guy who’s pretty darn hot, probably mid 20s or so, but unsure. I’ve seen him for the past 2 – 2.5 years at the gym, and it’s been so confusing. I go to the gym to work out and break a sweat. I’m not like other girls who wear a ton of makeup and try to get guy’s attention.I think this guy saw me checking him out, and ever since then, he would walk pass me, or work out around me. It gets me nervous when he does that, so I always end up starting at the ground when he’s near me, BUT when I DO look at him, he turns away! He won’t say hi or anything, and I think he may have a girlfrirend because I did see a girl going to the gym with him like 5 times throughout this 2 – 2.5 years, but not in the recent 9 months. They wore matching colors! I’m sure they were dating! Yes, assumptions, I know, he may be gay as well, who knows. I told a few of my friends, and they either said, he likes my attention because it gives him an ego boost, or he just likes to mess with my mind because he knows I’m checking him out. I don’t know how he knew I was checking him out, but he knows. I often go to the gym and can totally see him looking around my area to see if I’m at the gym. At times, when I leave, he’ll walk pass me, or when I go to the gym he’ll walk pass my workout to ‘signify’ that he’s ‘there’. I don’t really get it, my other friend said he’s probably insecure and wants to feel validated with my attention or he might of convinced himself that he knows I have a thing for him.Everyone is telling me to talk to him or say hi, but I refuse, because if he REALLY wants to talk to me, he would. If a guy really is into a girl, he would make the move. Heck, cocky, arrogant guys would talk to chicks, and if he likes ego boosts so much, why won’t he talk to me?It all comes down to, why won’t he say hi?
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): 2.5 years? I think the question is why haven't you said hi to him if you are interested?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): It is one of the following:
1. He is shy
2. He is not interested
3. He has not noticed you.
4. He has a girlfriend/wife
5. Any combination of the above
...............................
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (7 December 2010):
Sorry, as a guy I agree with the first poster. He's not actually interested. He probably just enjoys the attention you give him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): Either he's not interested or he's very shy, those are my two best guesses. I'm kind of the same way. I won't talk to a stranger unless I see an opening (like they say something about sports or something else that I'm knowledgeable on). It doesn't matter if it's a cute girl that I find interesting, I often assume she's not interested and don't talk to her. At the gym it's hard for some people to socialize, especially if he's shy.
This is the problem with all the "experts" who say that if a guy is interested he'll come over and talk to you. Shy guys will not, they're shy. Most of them have little experience with women and are scared to death of doing/saying something stupid and are thus scared into inaction.
Granted this guy could just not be into you, he could have a girlfriend, he could be gay whatever. There is no harm in saying hello to him. Simple and direct, just be a friendly person in general. Hope this helps.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): Ummm...honey. If it's been 2 and a half years and he hasn't approached you, he isn't planning on doing so in the future. You said it yourself, if he REALLY wants to talk to me, he would and he hasn't. Sorry.
Why are you hung up on a guy you see from afar at the gym...for 2 and a half years? I'm sure you're a pretty girl!! Find a guy who is into you!
It seems he hasn't even noted your presence. It SEEMS that he's working out around you, but he's probably just doing his thing.
It SEEMS he's avoiding your eye contact on purpose but think about it from your perspective--if you noticed a guy staring at you from across the room and you weren't into him, wouldn't you avoid his gaze and continue ignoring him? A GUY WHO IS INTO YOU WOULD HOLD YOUR GAZE OR SMILE AND LOOK AWAY. In addition, YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO CATCH A GUY LOOKING AT YOU FREQUENTLY IF HE IS INTO YOU, which it seems he doesn't do. Guys look at females they find attractive. Simple.
It SEEMS he is looking around for you, but he may be just looking around for something that is not you, or noting where you are so he can avoid you. He SEEMS to be walking past you for you to note his presence but he could be going across the room for something he needs. Watch him and see what it is. If it is legitimate, then he probably isn't walking past you with you in mind.
It helps to think about things if you were in his shoes and he were in yours. Don't establish a relationship in your mind that doesn't exist, because you could end up finding out that the opposite is true.
If you are in denial, do this. Take a female friend with you to the gym and have her watch him with you pretend to ignore him. If he doesn't look bothered, he's not interested. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Leave it be. If he is watching you while you are not looking, then you could be certain that he's could be interested. Glancing DOES NOT signify interest.
Guys don't take also three years to say hi, my dear. Move on, for dignity's sake.
To answer your question, he won't say hi because he doesn't feel the need to.
...............................
|
