A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:When your boyfriend is progressively pointing out your faults and says mean hurtful things, after a 3 year relationship does it mean he is trying to break up but doesn't know how to do it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): Hes cheating on you more then likely.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): Only he knows why he does this. Sometimes men when under stress and needing a little attention from you, will purposely push your buttons to get a reaction out of you rather than say to you, I need a hug and some attention.
The best way to handle this is to not give in and coddle him, but to put on your coat, grab your keys and say "I see you are in a bad mood, I will leave you alone with your thoughts, and when I get back I hope you will be over it". And call a friend and go out shopping or have a drink or something....come back a ocuple of hours later, or go home if you don't live together.
Basically, you need to let him know you are going to stand for being insulted and that you will remove yourself from the relationship if it continues...if he has some real issues with you and your relationship, he should be talking about issues, not insulting and picking at you...he is just showing his immaturity when he does that.
I hope this helps, but if it doesn't you may want to rethink staying in the relationship yourself.
I don't think this means he wants to break up, but he may be looking to blame you if he is thinking about cheating or meeting someone else possibly....anyway, you need to try and get things back on track and soon.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): Your boyfriend is being nasty and possibly wants power over you. Tell him to stop or you'll leave, that way he'll either stop (and you'll know that he isn't trying to break up with you) or he'll just carry on and say that he doesn't care if you leave him (and then you'll know that he really is trying to break up with you). By the way everyone has faults, no one is perfect.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (10 March 2007):
 He either wants out or he just wants to keep you in your place by making you feel inferior.
In either case, give him the short shrift. Tell him you're tired of being belittled and you're going to go on your own for a while. He'll either say "see you later", or he'll try to win you back. In the first instance, I'd say good riddance. In the 2nd, I'd say let him squirm. Don't be in any rush to let him back into your life. Nobody should be ridiculing you. Maybe during the break from him you'll meet someone that will treat you like a queen.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (10 March 2007):
 Whatever the reason it is not right. I dont think he is looking to get out of the relationship as there are much easier ways of doing this. Some people get a thrill out of treating others in this way. When you are in a relationship you are meant to feel secure and cherished. This to me is sending out alarm bells. He is trying to wear you down and make you feel worthless. You need to stand up and tell him that you wont accept this from him any more. Who the hell does he think he is. If you let him away with this he will keep doing it. Ask him does he want out of the relationship and tell him if he keeps behaving in this manner he will lose you. Whatever his reply have respect for yourself and never let any man away with putting you down. You are worth more than that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): It's never good when a partner who supposedly loves you belittles you and makes you feel insecure. There is obviously something not right in your relationship, sit him down and found out what it is. Maybe he is trying to get out and is hoping that you will finish it by getting fed up with him. Don't let him have the easy way out and make you feel like it was all your fault, talk with him and find out the real reasons for his behaviour.
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