A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I met a man on-line who asked me out, when I replied to him 2 days later, he said he had met someone else and was going to ask her to be exclusive. I wished him well. Several weeks later I get a message from this same man, asking me if I was still interested in meeting him. I asked what happened and he just said it didn't work out.So we met and began a quick intimate relationship seeing each other everyday. Two weeks later he sent me an email at work and said he was going to go back to his longtime girlfriend (this is a different woman). Two weeks later I get another email from him and said how sorry he was, would I please give him another chance. He claimed nothing happened between him and this old girlfriend. So I gave him a second chance, we picked up where we left off seeing each other almost everyday. Months went by and I started to feel completely used by this man, who never expressed feelings for me. I told him and he said he didn't throw the "love" word around. I started to feel used for sex and ended the relationship telling him I need to know he cares for me, he said if he didn't he wouldn't see me. I felt like he just replaces one woman for another and I guess it is my own dumb fault. I left his house and he never tried to contact me which I guess should tell me I was right, he didn't really care. I tell myself I shouldn't hurt over someone who didn't care about me, but it's still hard. I didn't like how it made me feel about myself. Any words to help get me out of this depressed feeling would be greatly appreciated. Hurting
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWanted to say thanks for the responses. It helps to know other woman can relate to this situation. I'm feeling much better today. Thanks everyone!
A
female
reader, jenta +, writes (3 January 2011):
 HiI am going through the same thing! I met this man 2 months ago and we have been seeing one another about 3- 4 nights a week and he has been telling me such nice things about me and we have a great time but suddenly the texting has slowed down and we have only saw one another one time since xmas. Very strange to suddenly stop. So i decied to investiage and do an on line search come to find my guy lied about his age he is 41 NOT 33. He failed to tell me he was married at some point, he did tell me about a failed relationship I am assuming it was the marriage. So now I wonder if it all was a lie?? Do I cut him off or confront him? So I am left here hurt and disapoint like you.Know that is not your fault you did nothing. This is all him and I think they have such little selfworth that they prey on women to make them feel good. Do we want a guy like that...NO!! They have no intrest in us and they must do this to many women. So what you do now is pick your head up and tell yourself what a jerk and go on. You dont need him. He will only hurt you. Good luck and it will take a while to go on but keep busy!! Im sorry I know how you feel!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): Well if it makes you feel any better men like this are pretty common. There are alot of them. And they do this to many women. Not just you. So it is not like they are just out to get you. Your mistake was tolerating it. The first he turned you down but then had so little shame to come back two weeks later to ask you out again, that should have shown you what type of guy he is. Enough so that you would know to turn him down immediately. But you live and learn.
Don't feel down, you should feel lucky that you have even realised how sucky this guy is before wasting any more time. There are women who waste alot more time on douche bags than this.
Just feel lucky that he is out of your life. And that you learned a valuable lesson when it comes to dating.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 You just need to remember that this isn't your fault. You are now one of many women who have been/are being used by men all over the world.
Leave this guy in the past, he's not worthy of your sadness. There are plenty of other guys out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Keep your spirits up as best you can, you never know when someone will spot your radiant beauty shining above everyone else :)
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