A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My 20yr old boyfriend and i have been dating on and off for about ten months. over of which he has gotten a dui and lost his license for a year. i moved 4 hours away from him, for school that offered me a scholarship, about 3 months ago. i have been back home to visit and see him 3 times. This coming weekend he wanted me to come home, but there were some important and fun events i had committed to before the same weekend. i suggest he come visit me, we could spend the weekend together and he could partake in the events too. i bought him a ticket to the concert i am going to. I asked him to find his own ride up here, but he couldnt. finally, i agreed to skip class friday morning and go pick him up and bring him up here (8 hours of driving for me, since he cant drive) and then to take hime back on sunday (another 8 hours). today he called me and told me that he wasn't going to pay for any of the $170 of gas it is going to take for me to make this trip possible. He says he doesnt have any money and is angry for me for backing out. he lives at home with his super rich parents and has a good paying job. he already owes me $200+. he is very angry and says i dont care about him...what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2008): Well, from what I read in your posting you didn't back out. You were upfront and you were more than willing to compromise with him. I mean... here you are, committed to these weekend events, but are still prepared to skip a class to drive a total of 8 hours to pick him up and bring him back, plus give him a ticket to a concert and ...he ends up complaining about gas money? Goodness! What an uncaring, ungrateful young man! Listen up, hun...you offered, you really and truely went way beyond the call of duty to accomodate him...so now, leave him be. He needs to learn you won't drop your life for him. And you need to start setting boundaries with this guy...and calling him out on this manipulative, self involved behavior of his.. He's doing a good head job on you. He didn't get his way, so he feels entitled to get angry at you. A good, quality guy who loves you and respects you, would never, ever act this way. So ignore this fellow...let him sit at home and stew about it. And you---get out there and have a blast with your friends. I'm sure someone 'else' could use that ticket to a concert and they'd likely even appreciate it! Good luck!
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