A
female
age
30-35,
*harrrr
writes:So basically me ex fiancé who I have a son with told me that he would stop seeing the girl he's talking to if I had an issue with her and her being around my son. He doesn't seem partically happy about them talking they hardly ever see each other it almost seems like he's only keeping her around because she's convenient, I felt like he was using me as a get out clause so he could stop seeing her without looking like the bad guy. But as much as I don't like the girl he's seeing (never have) I now feel bad for her, it's like he's stringig her along because surely if he liked her that much he wouldn't care what I thought of her and wouldn't leave her at the drop of a hat like he said he would! What do it do, it's really playing in my mind! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 January 2017):
 If they have only met up five times since October then am sure the girl knows that he cannot be that serious about her if he is not making the effort. I would say you are probably right and he is trying to use you as an excuse, don't allow him to bring you in to it.
A
female
reader, Charrrr +, writes (5 January 2017):
Charrrr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe has never met my son before, he said this too me before he has even introduced them, they have only met up a few times maybe 5 at most since October if what he says is true! Which is why I feel like he wanted me to say I didn't want her around my son so I looked like the bad guy ands he wouldn't feel guilty if he ended it
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A
female
reader, Slippers +, writes (5 January 2017):
Here the qs you ask yourself first . Has she been good to your child ? Polite when meeting etc if so then just say to him. Look who you date or don't date is non of my business . How they are with our son and she been... whatever here ( say for instance it was fine ) and if you are not happy don't use us as an excuse ( keep it light ) as if you do and I find out I would just put that person straight .
Thing is he will say . What he wants to say . You have no control over that . You however have some knowledge now of what you think is going on . Keep this under your hat and then if anyone says oo you made such and such break up . You can say indeed I did not . I'm not in their relationship and if I had that power oo wow I'd be on telly haha Keep it light but firm .
Take care and if he says again say to him you would be unhappy if he's considering dumping her with a my ex isn't happy excuse .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2017):
I think you say how you feel. That he can see whomever he wants to and you are not bothered. But be honest if you wouldn't trust her alone with your son, which you suggest. Explain that this doesn't mean he has to dump his girlfriend (just because you want him and not her to be primary caregiver).
He can man up and dump her for his *own* reasons if that's what he wants, leave you out of it.
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