A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What do i do my boyfriend physically and mentally abuses me. Im pregnant now with his kid and he is threatening to take my kid and leave me and get me for child support... weve been dating since i turned 16. i got pregnant about 8 weeks ago. i just turned 18 yesterday. He is 28 now. he is much more financially fit than me. but i know i can keep a job and make things work. he is a very smart guy just too mean. Im scared he will take my kid once he born. Help me what do i do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (13 September 2008):
 His threats are empty. No court will take a newborn away from it's mother unless there is something severely wrong with her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): everyone i very much appreciate all of your help!!! Im glad i found out about this website. All of your answers are truely helpfull!! He is going to be moving away to another state soon. And hopefully i will make sure that he doesnt come back for me and my baby. im going to a counselor and they will help me with the rest. Thank you Thank you everyone for all your thoughts I really appreciate those who take their time and help one in need.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2008): It is an empty threat.
Unless he goes overseas, the courts will almost NEVER take a child from it's mother unless you are an addict or something.
Call his bluff.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (12 September 2008):
 I was in your exact shoes! I was 19 when I got pregnant with my son, his father abused me mentally and physically, and he was 12 years older than me. I had nothing, and he was financially well off. I LEFT, before my son was born. I moved in with my parents, gave birth to my son, and my family helped to keep his dad out of the picture. His dad has ties in another country, and threatned to take him there so I'd never find him. Get out hon! My son is now 6, his dad never pays for him, and my son and I are doing just fine without him. If he abuses you and leaves marks, take pictues of those marks. Get all the dirt you can on him to prove he is an unfit person. Record him yelling at you, do what you can, and leave. Especially while you are pregnant. You should not be dealing with his abuse. Tell your prenatal docter what is going on, believe it or not, they can help. I hope the best for you, keep us updated.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 September 2008):
 Hi, if you keep your head and don't do anything rash right now, you'll be fine, I'm pretty sure. Do tell your family and your friends what he has been threatening. Start to write down in a journal everything he says and make sure you date each entry. Start today. If you can, keep a copy of your phone bill which shows your calls to and from him. If you live together, and share a phone bill, then make copies.
Now I suggest that you contact this organization and see if they can refer you to some low cost or free legal assistance.
National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Phone 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).
Website http://www.ndvh.org.
Please try to stay calm, he sounds like he keeps control of you by scaring you as well as physically and verbally abusing you. Don't let yourself fall for that tactic right now. You now have a life that needs your protection and your best effort right now.
Here's a link to making a safety plan for getting out of this relationship safely.
http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/SafetyPlan_130.html
As we don't know which state you live in, here's a link to a page which may help you find legal services.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawyer_referral_service
Be sure to not leave any trace of your activities on your computer, if you share it with him.
Good luck. I hope everything turns out for you.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (12 September 2008):
Get out of the house and move back in with your parents.
Do you really want a baby to be with a man like that? He'll abuse it too.
Get your family and friends around it. The only way he could take your baby is by kidnapping it and you have to make sure he doesn't get the chance.
No court in the land would give a child to a man like that but he will hit a teenage girl so he is obviously violent. Get away from him before it's too late.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2008): just because he is older and more financially than u are it does not mean he will be a better parent than you... i think that he is a selfish man and has no right to say that he will take ur baby away from u... i think u should talk to ur parents and tell them what is going on so that they can help u.... another thing it should b u leaving him... how dear him put his hands on u and abuse u... has if hit u whise u have been pregant? i think u need to get away from him before he dose anymore damage to u... ur gnna be a mum u need to put all ur thoughts on that... but i must say u have the better hand in all of this because he abuses you... if the courts ever found out that his abuses you he has to chance of having that baby... i just hope by time you have this baby you both have sorted this out because you can not bring the baby in too this world while things are like this... hope i have helped you in some way.x good luck
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