A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Well....He is still on the On-Line Dating site and is now Active! And by the way.... thanks to all who answered my question last week about my Fiance being on the ON-Line Dating site(At that time he was not active and I actually didn't say anything to him ...I just wanted to see if he would actually go back on there...and.... Soooo...I didn't say anything and it's been 9 days that we have been back together ...Fun 4th of July and all. Now I see that he has been on the dating site and he has winked at a couple women. What should I say to him??? I would like your insight/advice and candid comments.. I feel like chucking his ass to the curb! Thanks so much
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHANKS So Much Red Athena and others who responded to my question. Red Athena I apprecitate your answers more than you can imagine. God Bless you for taking your time....I know its all wrong but just settling because I'm in Love with the idea that one day this relationship will magically appear into the one that I want and deserve. But I'm in La La Land.....living a lie and an illusion.I have Kicked him to the curb for good because I deserve soooo much better....Ya know theres's always the but he's so this and that .....But what he really is ...is an arrogant disrespectful jerk. Thanks again for resonding and helping me.
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (7 July 2011):
 You confronted him and he does not see why it bothers you.
He IS still doing two things-
1-Feeding his ego
2-Looking for something better "just in case".
If your relationship is as committed and solid as HE would like you to believe, then why would he need to look for an ego boost or keep shopping?
A BIGGER RED FLAG sticks out right now.
"just said i'm looking for an excuse to end the engagement and that i am selfish because he spends money in the relationship and he gets nothing out of the relationship"
You have REASONS to end the relationship because all your spidey senses are tingly that something is NOT right.
WTF? that he gets NOTHING and that he spends MONEY ON YOU.
Is he running a RENT A GIRLFRIEND PROGRAM?
That alone is a huge reason to send him packing.
"When i confronted him he had no explanation other than he said he is not cheating on me. To me this is a form of cheating....Am I right? He had no apology...just said i'm looking for an excuse to end the engagement and that i am selfish because he spends money in the relationship and he gets nothing out of the relationship. I told him in a phone message that I guess my love and devotion isn't enough. If he really was devoted and loved me would he still be on the dating site?? "
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for answering my question....Yes we were still engaged ...we had broken up but we were back together for 9 days and i was waiting to see if he was going to delete his profile....but instead he went on there as i'm able to check his profile and see when the last time he was active was. When i confronted him he had no explanation other than he said he is not cheating on me. To me this is a form of cheating....Am I right? He had no apology...just said i'm looking for an excuse to end the engagement and that i am selfish because he spends money in the relationship and he gets nothing out of the relationship. I told him in a phone message that I guess my love and devotion isn't enough. If he really was devoted and loved me would he still be on the dating site?? Maybe it's just to feed his ego or to keep things rolling incase we ever broke up again...I don't know. But I don't feel he is being truely devoted to me. Should I take this as a sign to end this relationship now??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): Hello.....I knew he was on the site and didn't say anything to him the 9 days that we were back together....I was hoping he would cancel his membership....then i checked his profile and it said he was active within the last 24 hrs. So that means he was on there. I confronted him about it and he said he hasn't done anything wrong or cheated and did not even address the fact that he was active on there. No apology nothing....just said I'm always looking for an excuse to end the relationship. He says he spends money on me and that should be enough and that he gets nothing out of the relationship. Totally disregarding his actions with no explanation other than he is not cheating. I told him I've given him my Love and devotion and I guess that wasn't enough. We were engaged but now unless he apologizes and gets off the dating site....I feel like ending this engagement.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (6 July 2011):
Are the both of you on the same page of DATING again, the ENGAGEMENT is back on, or???
You are anonymous here, so no clue about your question last week.
If you agreed to exclusivity-I would ask him if he is off the dating market or still on?
Ok, now listen to your instincts. You went to look which hints that you do not trust him. Do you have access to his account to see what his activity is with his permission?
If not, how are you going to explain your peeking?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 July 2011):
 Talk to him about it and tell him that you know he is active on the websites. Off course his first question will be how do you know am active unless you are on it as well. So be prepared for these type of questions and just be honest with him. He is your boyfriend and am guessing you are both exclusive therefore he shouldn't be disrespecting you in this way so yes talk to him and ask him why he is doing this and tell him how it is making you feel.
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