A
female
age
51-59,
*upiter19
writes:I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for 3 year. 2 years living together. I suggested we go to couseling together. He declined and broke up with me, saying he needs to take a step back and see if this is something he wants to continue. He is scared of marriage, age 46, and not sure if he can be everything I want him to be. We got along very well. He is in counseling for depression and ED. Our sex life was lacking, and that is why I suggested couples counseling. I love him for who he is, and I don't care about ED. He is having denial issues about his ED. Please help with any suggestions.
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male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (12 September 2007):
Many drugs esp for depression and high blood pressure can cause ED. Talk to his doctor, Viagra may help.
A
female
reader, Jupiter19 +, writes (12 September 2007):
Jupiter19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. I just wanted to give a little more insight into my relationship. We truly are very compatible, and we get along great. He is my best friend. He is going through a major depression about himself. Lost job with company lay-offs, and now works at a very low ranking job, and under paid. Maybe a mid-life crisis? Feels he is a failure. I believe his ED is psychological, not physical. He doesn't feel good about himself. He has been in counselling since November. He goes once a week. I want to be with him intimately, and I guess I have been pushing him a lot lately. I suggested we go to counselling together and work through this together. I believe he probably isn't talking about his ED. I am giving him space. I do think time will really help. I just wish I could make him feel better about himself. I constantly tell him how amazing he is, and point out all of him great attributes. He truly does have so much to offer. He just lacks confidence right now. But, then he tells me how he doesn't deserve me, and that I deserve so much more. That's why he broke up with me. He doesn't want me to see him so depressed and wants to figure this out on his own. It is very painful to not be there for the man I truly love and respect.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): if he doesn't want what you want, leave him.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (11 September 2007):
Never mention his ED. Do comment on the things you like that he does. Take him shooting at a gun club.
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