A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay i got this love problem.I have a thing going on with one of my male friends. All summer we flirted a lot, but he wasn't asking me out or anything. So one day we finally talked about us and he confessed me that he was really into me, that he wanted to be with me BUT he couldn't have a serious relationship right now, so he sorta ask me for time.Reasons? because he has a lot of stuff going on right now. I told him that it wasn't fair for me to be waiting for him, so at the end, i agreed to wait but if someone came along I would choose to go out with him because he is not reasurring me that something is going to happen between us.Well my question is... right now we talk a lot (not about us obviously), the thing is i'm starting to feel kinda forgotten and i dont know what to do, i got a lot of mixed feelings. He has all the control of the situation right now, i just want to give him an extra push, i want him to feel sure that he wants to be with me right NOW. My friends have advised me to make him jealous. What do you think? He is really arrogant and shy at the same time (weird, i know) he never tells me how he feels so...please help.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (7 August 2008):
 You've handed him the 'power' in this relationship at the moment. I would take it back a bit, not in a bad way, but just take back your own time and schedule and stop waiting for him to come to you. You go out with other guys, you stop waiting for this one to call you, you put the space there yourself. Does that make sense?
You can't give him the extra push, that will simply push him away, you need to give him a void to fill.
Stop calling him all the time, if you are, don't text him, get busy, make other plans, be unavailable. You don't need to flirt with other guys to do this, what you're trying to set up in his mind is that you are not at his beck and call, that you are not waiting patiently for him to come around. What you want is for him to realize that he may lose you entirely if he doesn't move toward you. This strategy may not work, if he's 'not that into you.' But at least you'll know where you stand with him and can get on with your life accordingly. I hope it does draw him nearer to you.
Good luck, keep us posted.
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