A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys just wanted some opinions!I have been with my new bf for only a few months and most things are going great i feel we have a really good relationship.Only recently tho i have started noticing how protective and jelous he can be. He queations all my male friends and who i speak to. The other night we went out and watched a band play. He had drank a bit and as we were dancing and what i thought was having a great time he suddenly accused me of not being able to take my eyes off the lead singer. I was incredibly upset over this i wouldnt have even been able to tell him what the singer looked like i was just singing along to his songs! We went home and he started crying and saying his just so insecure all his exs had cheated on him and he didnt want to loose me etcHe also asked me why i had a pic of my ex up (i hadnt even noticed it was still up!)i am beginning to feel guilty talking to my male friends and we are going to see another band this weekend and im now worried who i look at or talk too!Is this common? Iv never had an overprotective bf before what should i do to show him his the only one im looking at? Everything else is so great but its a real turn off!Any ideas appreciated :)
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 July 2010):
The other female post suggest that you should talk to him. I respect that, but I'm going to give you a male point of view.
He will not change. Period. This is who he is, and this will get a lot worse. Soon, he will be telling you not see male friends, then he will stop you seeing female friends, then he will tell you what to wear, then he will keep you inside all the time.
Stop feeling guilty, start feeling worried. I wouldn't even talk this out, because it will do no good at all. I think you should end it, and I think you should end it now.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): u need 2 sit him down n talk 2 him calmly but stern. Tell him you love him but your insecurities are goin 2 push you away. If you dont things will only get worse as ive been there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2010): Honey, you need to recognize this for what it is and be ready to end this relationship if he can not change his ways, and quick. These are all red flags for a very controlling guy, and often these patterns escalate. Sit him down, share with him your observations and tell him that you can't live with someone who behaves this way and that you love him and want to have a long and happy relationship, but that if he can't deal with this (and he many need some outside assistance) you're worried about your relationship over the long term.Odds are he'll straighten up for a few weeks, and then slip back.PS: One good thing, when I lived in your country the men wouldn't dance, so all the ladies danced together (Sydney, 1984) - at least he's willing to dance with you!!Hopefully he'll be able to change!
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A
female
reader, rose the relationship solver +, writes (21 July 2010):
 hey my ex was the same he controlin jelous parranoid, i had to stop seeing my male frends because of him and it was the worst desicion ever. i lost 2 of my closest frends which i knew for 7 years, my ex went up to 1 of them and accused him of flirtn with me wen we wer just chattin bout old times...if i wer u id go careful because these things can get ugly as in him harming u and restricting u....think carefully what ur getting urself in to, good luck xx
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