A
female
age
26-29,
*elpless27
writes:Dear Cupids,I have been in a relationship for three and a half years with a guy I met in high school. I am currently in my second year of college while he opted not to go to college. I have school and a part time job while he has been around unemployed. Lately with all of his free time he has been working on cars and hanging with friends while I work almost thirty hours a week and have full time college on top of it. He seems to only be caring about his friends and cars making me a lower priority. I am always at his side when I have free time between shifts and classes, but he is never there for me. He claims he loves me but does not show it anymore. I feel like I'm the only one putting in any effort and I am not seeing anything back. He tells me that I overthink or expect to much. This has been going on for months now and I just don't know what to do. It's hard to give up on something that I have put so much time into but I can't keep getting nothing back and wishing our relationship was how it used to be. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (30 April 2014):
 You have both matured into two different people. Maybe you were compatible and on the same page when you both met, but now you are taking on responsibilities and looking at the bigger picture, he is hanging about with mates and not bothering with work.
You are the only one making the effort and it will never change. Move on and find someone who is right for the person you have become, not the person you once were. Your aged 18-21 so you would have met between the ages of 14-17? You were kids back then, now your becoming a grown woman with a job, career in the making and maturity. He is still the same as he always was.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 April 2014):
 I think the writing is on the wall.
You are moving FORWARD he isn't. He is jobless and content with that.
YOU are working part time AND going to school so you can make a better future for yourself.
I'd stop being so available. If he doesn't start to WANT to be with you, then you know where you stand. I'd end it and move on.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (28 April 2014):
 Maybe your relationship has run its course, you have both grown in different directions and want different things from life. Maybe you have both become a habit for each other.
Don't look at it a having been a waste of time, I am sure there are lots of positives you can take from this relationship, you are starting to think about the sorts of people who put into a relationship and those that only take.
I would guess if you didn't contact or see him for a few weeks, say three or four, he may not even realise you weren't there ......... his focus has shifted, his interests and life's path are different to yours, and the time has come for a parting of the ways.
This doesn't have to be difficult, if you just stop being there quite so often, leave it longer between times you contact him, I think the relationship will just fade away.
Chin up, you are doing okay at the moment, education AND a job, two out of three is pretty good going, and who knows what is waiting for you just around the corner relationship-wise.
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