A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Don't get me wrong my manis god to me at times but I'm getting married in 2 weeks time but I need some advice on how to tell my husband to be to stop being so hard on me all the time especially the past 10 months. They're is in age gap between us it isn't huge but sometimes I feel that he dosen't show me the proper respect I should get had I been his age, he gets frustrated with me if I do something wrong as in if we were driving and he asked me left or right and I said right instead of left he would make a huge deal out of it, if i spilled a cup he would go for god sake or if something goes missing , just little things he gets so mad at me for, sometimes he even gets mad at me for things I didn't even do but he will just blame me anyway. sometimes when i disagree with him he tells me'oh shut up!! or blah blah blah and it really affects me I told him this but he still does it. He mimics me when i get mad and it just hurts me so bad when he does it. I've planned my entire wedding by myself from flowers to almost every single aspect and I just feel so unappreciated sometimes. He tells people he is up the walls planning the wedding and stressed even though I did 99% of everything myself and never complained or looked for a thank you for doing it all for us. I just feel that the respect he once had for me is gone. I just don't feel special anymore to him and thats making me incredibly insecure. A few weeks ago he told me i'm pretty but if I lost all the weight I'd be a model, this stupid comment he made on me has not left my head and since then, I've been over stressing about my weight to a stage where i know im not going to look like a model because i haven't lost all my weight it just really upsets me when he said that. He says I take things too serious but i can't help it when he says stupid things like this that belittles me and causes me to hate myself for being an overweight bride. I've cut out takeaways I've excercised I've tried but I struggled so much with losing weight and all he tells me is you just have to except the fact youll be like this for the wedding. Thing is I can't accept it. I feel like becoming a runaway bride. Please help me :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (20 May 2016):
 Okay well sweetie the thing is you need to accept the way you look because your wedding is in two weeks and nothing is going to drastically change. If you are over weight well then you just need to accept it and then after the wedding do something about it, join slimming world, join a gym or an exercise class. If you are determined enough you will do it!
Now on to your relationship, are you sure you are marrying the right man for you? You seem quite young to be getting married. If he is always belittling you and putting you down then you need to talk to him, if you have and he refuses to change well then sweetie are you sure you want to go through with this wedding at all? He won't change when you are married, in fact he may get even worse. Remember a wedding is not about all the fancy flowers and food, it is about two people marrying each other and making a promise to each other. Marriage is forever. So you really need to think long and hard if this is what you want in life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2016): Sweetie, I think you SHOULD become a runaway bride! His behavior is abusive. He sounds very controlling and critical. The sad thing is he probably thinks he's doing you a favor. He is NOT going to get any but tter and NOTHING you do will be good enough, EVERYTHING will be your fault. Please, cancel the wedding. I know you're worried about what ppl will think but consider this: what would they think if you married the guy, continued to get belittled and became only a shell of who you are? No one who cares for you would want to see that. They would rather you pick up the phone, call and say, "cousin Rachael? This is Dierdre, I need to talk..." "Brother Simon from church? Can you and your wife help me...?" Whoever you talk to, tell them what you posted here. KEEP calling until you get someone with compassionPLEASE call Preacher (or Rabbi or whatever). I'm going to ass-u-me you plan to marry in a place of worship bc most people do. If so, he/she will probably be compassionate and listen. Most of them truly are good for that. Despite what the media says, most of them DO care and would NEVER marry ppl if they thought someone would get belittled or abused.From one abuse survivor to another: please, please, please cancel the wedding and talk to your preacher/rabbi/the court. They really are there to help. Also, call a cousin, uncle, who-the-heck-ever. I made those names up but I'm betting one of them cares
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