A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married to a guy who is like a light switch what I mean is one day he will say I love you but the next day he says he doesn't like or love me. When we fight he take the easy way out by taking off for days and then come back and tells me I don't have a right to know where he has been. He has no sense of commitment in this marriage. I'm so confused. I want a partner who loves me for who lam. I'm not perfect I make mistakes.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 January 2012):
 Running away and not telling your partner where you are is wrong.
Personally I would tell him this: THE NEXT TIME YOU LEAVE pack enough for a good long stay as I will be changing the locks and you will not be permitted back in our home till you get some help” THEN DO IT.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): You are right. You do deserve a partner who loves you!..for who you are. Is it possible your husband is bibolar? check out some of the symptoms.
http://helpguide.org/mental/bipolar_disorder_symptoms_treatment.htm
'Disappearing Acts" are not acceptable in any relationship.
If your husband doesn't want to change, isn't mentally ill and wants to continue these disappearing acts: you need to decide if you want to: A: live with that for the rest of your life (because you love him and would rather put up with that and still have him in your life) OR B: decide to go through the pain of a breakup, heal, and move on with your life to greater, happier, kinder things.
Good loving men do NOT treat their woman like that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): In reality you don't have a marriage, all you have is a piece of paper and maybe also a ring, which are just empty and hollow symbols.
Repeat - you don't actually have a marriage. this is because it takes two people to have a marriage, and yours only has one person in it (you).
You should leave this guy. Even that sounds like an oxymoron - after all can you leave someone who isn't even there to begin with?
You should divorce him - you already don't have a marriage, you just need to make it official so you're not obligated to continue pretending anymore.
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A
female
reader, Latti +, writes (29 January 2012):
Yes....you have every right to be uncomfortable, because some of this behavior is NOT OK!
Staying out for days at a time, because of a disagreement or your angry is UNACCEPTABLE! You are married...not boyfriend/girlfriend in high school. Its inmature & quite cruel.
There is without doubt....something else going on! Your husband does not respect you or the marriage....& the nerve to say " You don't have the right to know where he has been". YOUR MARRIAGE LICENSE GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO KNOW!
I believe whole-heartedly in marriage....especially those worth fighting for. However, I don't believe in losing my dignity & self-respect/esteem to a man/woman who is playing games with my heart & the marriage.
Insist on marriage counseling through a church or if u can afford private counseling...great! Expose this behavior....not to your girlfriends or his friends, but a mediator who you trust. Hold him accountable for this bad behavior. If he refuses counseling or to change......you need to focus on you. Go to church, read relationship help books, regain your strenght....but soon....you will have to make a decision if the marriage is worth it. You are beautiful & your happiness is important....but you have to depend on yourself.....for YOUR happiness....not your husband. You deserve better...but no one can get better for you....but you! Love you more...God does!
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