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He is confusing me and I want to understand??

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 November 2010)
A female Ireland age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi,

We liked each other. Went out, but not serious, for a few months. Chemistry was unbelievable. Never broke up but he pulled away. As we are not based on the same town I haven't seen him in two months.

I really like him. Very much.

When he stepped back I explained him how I feel and he told me that he was confused too and he wanted to spend more time with me. We continue to talk but not as much as before but he still calls me my girl or says that he would like very much to be with me now ..

I always thought he had feelings for me but the fact that this relationship has no future makes him pull away.

But why is he telling me these things now, that he wants to be with me and then he does nothing to see me ??? Wouldn't it easier to tell me to stay just friends ??

View related questions: broke up

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

Can i be blunt? He doesn't want to say he likes you just as a friend because that gives him the option of still being able to sleep with you. If he told you he just wanted to be friends he would have to stop the sexual part and at the end of the day if a guy knows he can get sex he will say things to keep you on the hook. Think about it. Lets say you met up again, ended up having sex but because he's already told you he likes you but can't do the relationship thing because of the distance or whatever it makes him look like a stand up guy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He is in another country but you are right, see each other would not be that difficult.

But what playing with me ? I mean, he can just say It is over but I like you as a friend. Then everything would be clear !

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

Actions speak louder than words and really if he wanted to be with you in a relationship he would. Unless he lives in another country, there's nothing stopping him coming to see you. In my opinion this guy is playing with your emotions and i don't think you're fine with just a FWB type thing. He said he wanted to spend more time with you but doesn't actually do it does he?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He pulled away because he was too involved into something that cannot be more serious than it was. Both of us we know this would be heading nowhere. When I asked, this is what he said and he also said that after some thought he understood he wants to spend more time with me. I explained my feelings then.

I am fine with the FWB / casual thing but if this is not even what he wants why trying to "keep me sweet" ? Just say that and we are done.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010):

It sounds like he might be telling you these things to keep you sweet. What was the reason for him pulling away? Was it because you told him you wanted something more? If so, then it could be that this guy just wanted a bit of fun but when it started getting too serious for him he pushed you away. It could be that he's keeping on the hook for a FWB type thing.

What was his excuse about the relationship not being able to go any further? How far away does he live?

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