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female
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anonymous
writes: My friend is going out with this guy, I didn't really like him, but I was happy for her anyway. One day, I was walking down the mall, I saw the guy. He was talking to his mates. he didn't see me, but I heard a bit of what they were talking about.I found out that he was cheating on my friend. Not one but with two other girls, putting it as "hey, I bragged three chicks at once, beat that" I was furious. I went to him one day, and told him to leave my friend if he doesn't love her. He twisted in anger and threatened me that if I tell my friend I am gonna pay for it.I ignored him, and told her anyways. She didn't believe me, believing that he loves her and never do such a thing to her. Little she knew! She even accused me of being JEALOUS!I would've left her, but I felt sorry for her as she's my friend. She's on one side blindly inlove with him and he's on the other side playing her.I don't like seeing my friend going through a heartbreak, but how can I make her see what's gonna come?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2006): Friends always have "good" intentions because they think they are doing a noble deed to save their friend from a horrible fate, but look what happened. It backfired on you. In time when the relationship ends with this guy your friend will realize that she was seeing him through rose colored glasses. I was in a relationship for years that was not healthy for me and all my friends knew it, but I didn't listen to them and finally I ignored them and cut them out of my life completely.
My previous advice still stands. You should have stayed out of it. As a friend and as someone close to the situation you can't be objective. She has to learn this lesson on her own even if her heartbrakes. In time she will reach out for you for comfort. Just open your arms wide and don't say I told you so.
-J
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): hey, it's me the one who wrote the problem.
It was hard not to get involve, as she's my friend and I care for her. I don't want her to go through a heart brake. Atleast I told her, but....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): You should not have gotten involved. Things have a way of working out on there own without any interference. Try to remain neutral and if your friend comes to you for comfort, just listen and do not offer any advice.
-J
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): Unfortunately, there are people that need a good smack of pain to have themselves willingly take their blindfolds off. As much as this may make me feel depressed, I have allowed some of my friends/family to go through things where I might have otherwise helped them not make their mistakes.
The thing is unfortunately, sometimes people don't learn from pain, and sometimes people get too paranoid having to feel pain. You gave her a warning, now let her deal with it, continue to be there with her, do the things u two normally do. Maybe even go back to her now and tell her that you're sorry, and maybe you've heard wrong. Take her out to dinner, and pretend it 'never' happened.
If and when the time comes that she does find out on her own, make sure to give yourself to her as support. If she cries to you, apologizes, etc, just concentrate on her. Never say, "I told you so" cuz that doesn't help.
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