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anonymous
writes: I met my partner 16 months ago and up until recently i thought we had a good relationship that was honest and open. About two months ago we brought the computer and he started to get obsessed with it. I realised that something was really wrong with our relationship when every night i would go to bed on my own and he would still need to do something on the computer. Then one day by pure chance i found his history of where he had been and when i checked out the sites some where just so disgusting it made me physically sick. I also found out that he had posted himself and me on sites that i didnt want to know. I asked him about it and first he said i was mad then he lied then he admitted it. After spending a few nights apart I forgave him and he swore there was nothing else. Now ive found out that he has been in contact with other women via e mail and msn we keep arguing and he has left again but i want him back. How do we go forward and stop the fighting? please help us
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi there the lady who wrote me a response has probably hit my relationship smack on the head but i dont know how to let go he has a share in my home and my kids future and i cant and wont be moved from my own home by anyone least a cheating liar who only has his intrests at heart i am stuck now with hm or losing my home i need some help in this one and the guy yes you are right we have gone to counciling but he aint showed up yet and ive done it on my own
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006): Let's see, you want to know how to go forward with a man, who has been emotionally cheating, texting other women, and so forth. Hun, he has treated you and your relationship like crap. Most woman would have kicked his ass to the curb for committing such self-serving, unloving acts in a relationship. What do his actions tell you-is this really and truely love? I think what you need to do is fully realize what you feel for this man is not love but a needy, desperate attachment, dear. This is what is cementing you into a destructive relationship with a deceitful, dishonest man. So stop thinking that you love him..you are using this as a rationalization for tolerating what you shouldn't, and to change what you should. Similar attitudes, morals, values and life goals is what makes for a balanced, healthy, love relationship. You don't have this with him. If I were you, I'd drop him like a hot potato. The bad news about doing that is it will hurt like hell, for awhile. The good news is that you will be free to do something healthy for yourself and learn from this life experience. The choice is up to you
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006):
Well its hard to tell since you didnt give information about the sites: you may be a killjoy or the sites may be beyond the pale.
My suggestion would be to get together with a conselor and see if you could come to a mutually agreeable set of rules on these things.
BTW, in the future I think it would be a good idea to avoid moving in with someone until you had this sort of thing worked out. And established what the rules are in regards how any pictures of you are to be treated.
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