A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I told the man I was seeing about a girl who "captured my curiosity." He listened to me describe her for a while without saying anything. But, when I was done, his voice sounded sarcastic and over-polite. It can't be jealousy, I don't think he cares for me enough to feel that way. After 8 months, I'm still on the outskirts of his life. This woman is stirring something in me that he hasn't. I love him but I don't feel able to free myself with him, I can't even tell him I love him because he scares me...this woman is romantic, something I've craved from him, he's never gotten even a piece of grass for me, much less a flower. I'm not a lesbian, I've never lusted for girls. But, I feel he's angry at me for being fascinated by this girl. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): Ohhh!! are you even sure you want to be with this man? read your words,description of him to yourself - love? it barely sounds like you like much about him never mind love . Perhaps your fascination for this woman is because she is reflecting all of the qualities that you really want and are obviously not finding with this guy? or is she how you would like to be ? but you are restricing yourself . I have to say , to be scared of someone to the extent that you cant tell them your feelings isnt a good thing hun :0( how can you be happy when you cant express yourself? I think your focus on this woman is so emphasised because its distracting you from the real issue at hand - you and he - I feel its becoming a way of escapism for you , feeding what you're lacking in some way . If I was you I would sit down and ok this may sound a little crazy but everything always hits home and is taken in better when you see it wrote down - i would write a list divided into two parts ....the pro's of being with this guy one side and the cons of the other ....really be honest with myself ...read it back and work from there . Remember communication and understanding is a huge part of any relationship - you two obviously arent doing either .Good luck and please if you decide to do the penning down thoughts? let me know how you go ((*_*)) good luck x
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