A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:theres a guy at work who ive become very good friends with and am fond of. however very recently ive noticed hes been lying to me a lot which hurts because we get on well together and i though he trusted me but lately my intuition has been bugging me that somethings not right. for example he says he owns 3 houses-in other countries-he reckons ones worth 600 k. hes got 4 kids so hes paying maintenance aswell. he reckons hes got 60 k in life savings which hes using with his friends to set up a property business yet cant even buy a coffee at work and rarely has cash on him-i pay nearly every break !!also hes only been in the job 7 months but has been having lots of personal emergencies eg kid in hospital ,ex partner in hospital, and has been doing this a lot lately. i feel awful doubting him but i dont know why i feel somethings not right. i felt sorry for him because his wife left him for someone else last year and ive been helping him a lot a work as he was in a bad way. is he lying-am i mad lol please someone help this is beginning to worry me-especially as ill never be able to prove any of it
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2010): thanx guys for the brilliant advice thankyou xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2010): As you are only friends at the moment i should keep it that way. Hes clearly potless but trying to convince you otherwise, probably to cover his embarrassment when you keep having to pay for him. I very much doubt he has 60k or 3 houses with one of them worth 600k. You are right, it doesnt add up. If he is comfortably well off why cant he afford a coffee? Because hes lying thats why. As for lots of time off work, who knows what hes really getting up to. He has red flags going up everywhere, just dont be tempted to get involved with him because hes using you for freebies and lying to you. Not a good start to a friendship. I would drop it if i were you and let the property tycoon buy his own coffee!
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A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 Just leave it. He may be lying, he may not be lying. Ask yourself if it would impact on you if he were lying?
If it would, then there's a problem. But if his lies don't effect you at all then just let it slide.
Lying isn't really a good thing, but sometimes you just have to nod your head and go along with it, even if he's exaggerating or lying about his houses and fortune. Getting yourself worked up over whether he may be lying about houses or money isn't really worth it, to be honest.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (10 March 2010):
But what's it to you though? If he is lying about his personal life and he's just a work mate then why do you need to prove anything? If it really bothers you then spend less time with him and leave him to it. As long as his lies are not affecting your workload or your personal life then don't worry about it. If he's skiving off work then he will fire himself; don't cover for him.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (10 March 2010):
 He is probably fantasising. Trust your instinct it will be right 99.9% of the time.
Stop buying the coffee, make an excuse you have left your purse at home, see what his reaction is.
If he can’t afford a few quid for the coffee then financials must be bad so has making up a fantasy to avoid facing reality.
To be honest if that was me with no money on me for coffee, I would make sure to bring in cash the next day and to buy the coffee for you in return, there’s nothing wrong with taking turns to buy it.
You will probably find he has a debt problem and he’s paying child maintenance too. He may also have a gambling problem or something similar.
Its not usual for a guy to tell you how much money he has in the bank until your into the trust stage of a relationship, even then he may never tell you.
Proceed with caution!
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