A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:let me give u the run down b4 starting this im almost 22 now and he is 32, he is a bad boy and im a former " bad girl" i have changed alot of my ways to make him happy n to b closer to him. also i dont know if this matters but this is an interracial relationship.okay so to make a long story short, i met a man when i was 18 and we began a "friendship" which included sex and no strings,which seemed perfect giving the fact that we are about 2 hours away from eachother. this "friendship" countined for about 2 years with no string conflict or expectations. we both agreed to have sex not make love, however while hanging out and being sexual with eachother we made love, he told me he loved me during sex and after, i felt the same but didnt know how to react, so i went with my gut and i said what i felt too which was i love you too. with that came alot of unanswered questions, we decided that we would ignore that incident and move forward, now everytime we see eachother we act like boyfriend and girlfriend... here is the issue he is a flake!!! he is soooo not reliable i have driven out to see him 2 x and he didnt answer mind u that he lives 2 hours away from me. next issue is he says that if we lived closer we could be together so i asked if i signed a lease around him if he would like to move in with me, his response was yes so i found a place and the day we were supposed to sign the lease he is no where to be found..... help me please. what am i doing wrong? I do not question his actions when we are apart, i do not expect anything from him unless we have agreeded to it together. he says he loves me more than I know but when it comes to being together he is nowhere to be found. which leads me to our last encouter he asked if i would spend the night with him yesterday i said yes i drove 2 1/2 hours out of my way to see him and when i got there he did not pick up his fone and i have not talked to him since. All my friends say i should leave him alone but i dont know if its because they dont wanna see me hurt anymore of its because he is a different race than we are..... help help help lolPlease men tell me what am i doing wrong?I have never loved a man this way i would do anything just to him smile and to know he is happy. but he just pushes me away when we get close... HELP
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u both so much for your insights and thoughts on my situation, the truth has been in front of my face and i didnt want to see it buts its clear now. Thanks again ;)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): perhaps you feel so strongly for this person since you were relatively young when you met. there is a huge difference between 18 and 28.
i think all the signs are there and because you feel so engrossed in him, you can't see what happening.
if he is a flakey person, there is a reason.
if he isn't picking up his phone when he knows you're coming (on multiple occasions), there is a reason.
if he says he wants to move in with you and decides to NOT bother showing up, there is a reason!
you deserve better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010): He's playing games with you and i don't think this "bad boy" has changed as much as you think. If he loved you he would make more of an effort. 2 hours away? That's not that far. I'm thinking you're being played.
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