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age
30-35,
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writes: hay guys,well i'll get straight to the point, my bf hits and kicks me. i love him more than the world and i no he feels the same about me. But we're only 13 and I'm not sure whether i should have a bf like this and certainly not at this age!!! I dnt actually think he means to hurt me as some times he says sorry if i say he hurt me but some times he doesn't........ So i just go along wiv it and occasionally i say look that really hurt but mainly i just go along with it and laugh about it as that's what every one else who's there does. But what makes me feel bad is that if i do some thing by complete accident like knock his drink over he will either hit me or kick me or shout and scream his head off at me, but whereas if some one else knocked his drink over like our best mate then he will just say "Oh it's all right don't worry about it!"and they'll just laugh and that would be the end of it and with me he just won't let me forget it. i love this guy more than n e thing in the world and i REALLY don't want to get rid of him, so plz some one help me!thanksx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): How can you possibly love a boy who treats you like this?! Have a little more self-respect and dignity, please!! You need to place a higher value on yourself, and recognize that you deserve MUCH better - whether you're 13, 30, or even 83!NO, he does NOT "love" you.What he loves is being abusive and bossy, controlling. He must have a very poor opinion of himself, so he makes up for it by lording it over you and gets a "kick" out of making you hurt and unhappy. He is sick.You should not, and you must not, put up with his abuse any longer. Surely you're not THAT desperate that you want to hang onto him? You'd better talk to your parents and get them to forbid him to hang around, plus talk to your teacher or school counsellor! STAY AWAY FROM HIM!
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female
reader, skyebabe  +, writes (23 August 2007):
 no way should he have a power over you.you are your own person dont let him rule you if he hits you time and time again just think to yourself if you do stay togather is this ganna happen when you married or something if he hits you once he will hit you again and again dont put up with it my sis did and they stayed togather but then he broke her arm thats when she got rid off him you just have to think hes ganna hurt you bad oneday you can find someone better!!!!!!!!! xx email me if u wanna talk
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female
reader, minimouse  +, writes (23 August 2007):
 Hey girl, look, you are so young and really what i think is that you have to end this relationship. And he relly need help. How old is he? I think that if you leave him maybe he will understand what he is doing. Atart to go out with your friends not with him and if he still hurt' you talk to someone {your best friend} I hope that this situation ends. Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): The other Aunts are so right on with their advice, Dear. Please listen and heed their wisdom. Hun, your boyfriend is a very 'abusive person'..he has no respect for you. As young as you are, you have to see that, don't you? You are a victim of dating violence and the sad thing is..you may thinking this normal behavior..but it's not. I'm looking at your age here, and I'm thinking you are most likely quite inexperienced in knowing how to be treated in a healthy relationship. Simply put, people do not demean, degrade, hit, smack or kick people they love. This boy does not love you. He doesn't know how to love. He does not love himself, he is a broken person and he needs professional help. Respect and honor are the building blocks of a healthy relationship. You have likely felt pressured to date at your age due to your peers (friends) and dating someone probably makes you feel independent. But if your boyfriend is this abusive now, he will not get better, over time. You can't fix him. He has deep, deep problems within him. He will get worse until one day he hurts you really, really badly. It's that serious and you are at risk. Get out of this, now...and tell your parents how he is treating you. They don't want to see you get hurt..they love you, they will support you. Please do this. And learn to love and honor yourself, so that you will recognize and never tolerate abuse from anyone again, in your life.
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female
reader, Marlene1988  +, writes (23 August 2007):
Im so sorry you have to go through something like this already. But sweetheart, your only 13. How many relationships have you been in? You need to experience more relationships so you know what love really is. How old is he? because just think, He will never stop hitting you. And in the future when you have children, think about them. Will he do this to them? He needs help, and I really dont think you are ready to help him. There are so many other guys out there for you to fall in love with. Find another one. I know what its like, I was in an abusive relationship when I was 16-17 1/2 yrs old. He never stopped. And I thought he loved me and I loved him, I didnt. Believe me when I say you need to get out of this relationship. Talk to friends and family to help you. You do not deserve this!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): Look, seriously, me has severe anger management issues. He needs to get help and you need to distance. If your 13 your barely ready for the most normal relationship in then world, let alone something this intense. You have your whole life and there will be another boy in it who is amazing and doesn't hit you.
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (23 August 2007):
 He may not mean to hurt you hunni but he IS! This guy needs to get help asap. The more you "go along" with what he is doing and show him its ok, the longer it'll take for him to realise what he is doing is so WRONG! No matter what age he is he shouldn't be hitting you.
You need to tell him you aren't going to put up with being smacked about anymore and he needs to sort himself out, or he'll still be treating you the same by the time you're both 30 and you'll not be as strong as you are now.
He needs to realise HE has the problem not you. The fact he doesn't show the same "anger" towards his mates shows how wrong he is treating you.
Try looking on this site- http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/ -for help and advice on what you should do.
This guy cannot love you that much if he hits you. Trust me.
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