A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has Huge trust issues but i trust him completely, he is a very honourable, loving man. he has a bit of a reason though, as i had taken anti-depressents and didn't tell him about it because he was always telling me that i'm such a downer to be around and he didn't know if he could be with me anymore if i was going to be depressed all the time but he refused to believe that i had drepression. he always said "you're not depressed you're just over emotional and hyper sensitive" so i took anti-depressents and kept it from him. it did make me better, i hardly ever cried and i just took things so lightly and everything was awsome. One day i found a sim card (from a cellphone) in his drawer that had ex's numbers on it and stuff (he still had feelings for his ex at the time) so i took it and put it in my jewellery box cuz he never goes in there. that night after i had a few too many drinks i got emotional and he found out that i had taken anti depressents. i did it all just so i wasn't such a burden to him but i didn't want him to leave. now he accuses me every day of cheating on him. he checks my phone all the time, checks the computer history, goes through the rubbish to try and find writing or phone numbers and he went through all my stuff last night while i was at work but i have nothing to hide, i'm completely faithful and always have been. My boss brought me home and he watched me through the window as i knew he would, but my boss was just giving me paperwork to study. i was so excited to see my bf cuz i hadn't seen him for that day but when i got home he accused me of cheating with my boss and he found the sim card in my jewellry box and thought it was mine. i tried to tell him that it was his but i didn't have a cellphone to prove that it was his. he said all his trust is completely gone and that he could never trust me again. A long time ago he said he wanted to marry me, but now i think he's gonna leave. he held me tight all last night and he said he loves me more than anything, but now i am in fear of him leaving. i love him so much it brings me to tears to think of life without him. everything in my life reminds me of him because he has had an infuence on EVERYTHING i love! oh god what do i do? i exhaust myself trying to show him that i love him to death, i'd fight to the death for him, i feel so sad, please help
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female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (27 November 2009):
 Taking medication isn't a crime. You're an adult, and if you need medical help it's no one's business but yours and the doctor who prescibes it for you. But you know what....I wouldn't be surprised if hanging around with morons like your boyfriend is what's causing you to be so unhappy. That's what happens when you allow someone else to be responsible for your happiness. When you do that you put a huge burden on that person, and they become resentful, and then they behave like an arse. You're in a really unhealthy relationship and the best thing you could do would be to take a big deep breath and get away from this guy so you can pull yourself together. You can't recognise emotional vampires when they're feeding off you because the first thing they suck out is your sense of worth.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (26 November 2009):
 Honestly he sounds like a controlling jackass and I can't see why you're wasting your time with him. A man who loves you does not go through the trash to try to catch you cheating. THAT IS NOT NORMAL.
A man who loves you does not deny your illness and make you feel bad about yourself. THAT IS NOT NORMAL.
A man who loves you does not need to watch you through the window like you're a toddler. THAT IS NOT NORMAL.
If you choose to stay with this man, you will spend all that time trying to prove something to him and jumping through hoops. The problem is, you will never win. You will spend your whole life walking on eggshells, trying to please him, and feeling miserable. Is this what you want for the rest of your life? To be caged up and inspected? To only be loved if you've limited yourself? One fall, one trip and he doesn't love you anymore? What kind of love life is that? Love is supposed to make you happy and set you free, not brutalize you and make you feel depressed.
I think you need to spend some time with your friends and family and see what a real honest and loving relationship is like, because this isn't it. What you have sounds like slavery.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2009): First of all you do not need to reveal that you are taking anti depressants. I am on them and would not reveal that to a man unless I wanted to. Good for you for trying to help your self. Depression is VERY challenging to cope with and can only be undertood when one goes through it themselves. I think he sounds like he has some anxiety for being so insecure about you. If he leaves you over this something is wrong with him not you! Couples go through much more challenging issues than this. Try and relax if you can, he told you he loves you so much! I would add exercize into your routine to combat anxiety and depression. You will worry yourself sick and it will not help you. I read the book How To Start living and stop worrying by Dale Carnegie and it has strategies that help me everyday to cope. Even if you are over emorional and to sensitive that is not the worst trait in the world to have . I am the exact same way. Both of you are young. Try and take one day at a time. PLease keep me posted
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