A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my bf broke up with me after 2 yrs because he had trust issues and would alwys have in his mind the 2 guys I had sex with yrs before him.. he always asked me how was the sex with the 2 other guys.. and also asking me did I like it better with them or was he better than them it was just crazy.... now I find out he might be dating someone else when I thought he was taking time off to see if he can come to his senses and continue our relationship.. this really hurt me because we were perfect with each other and he said he couldn't imagen his life without me.. just that he couldn't get those thoughts out of his mind in which will creat problems between us. but what I would like to know if relationships sometimes work out better after a break up and some time apart
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female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (15 June 2011):
Time apart doesn't by itself improve a relationship, unless during that time apart one or both partners underwent significant (and positive) change in their perspective or habits.
otherwise, after time apart, if nothing changes and you get back together, it's just the same thing again.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): If you drank a small amount of poison every day simply taking a break isn't going to make that poison less toxic when you start ingesting it again.
Many people mistakenly assume that the person without the trust issues must work harder to help the person with them. In fact it's the other way round.
Your ex is clearly unwilling to do the work. He's taken the easy road by breaking up with you and hooking up with another woman to up his own score and blot out images of you in his mind. I'd say a reconciliation is therefore unlikley to improve things.
He may feel better if you got back together, for a while anyway, but only because YOU will now be the one feeling crummy imagining him with another woman.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): Seriously, it sounds like he just wasn't that into you. It sounds like he wanted to get in your pants and then didn't want the relationship anymore. Now a friend of mine had a similar problem and after some time, they are back together. But if you try the getting back together thing, PROCEED WITH CAUTION!!
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