A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 43,very very un-happily married and have been suffering due to lack of true love since 1987 i.e. from the age of 19.....I met this guy on the internet about a year back who is 25 years old.....He asked me to be his Lady Valentine on the eve of Valentine's Day this year and I blurted it out to him that I was madly in love with him.....He had reciprocated heartily then but later went on continuosly dropping me off his friends list and abusing me through his comments on my page and through his messages on the phone.....I remained silent though I was hurt.....But then after a few days he kept coming back to me begging for mercy and I always welcomed him back.....a few months back he made friends with a 23 year old girl and started misbehaving with me again.....Hurt me to the hilt by severing all ties again.....Now he's back again,promised me he won't repeat history but is doing so all over again.....He does not call for days or answers my calls or messages.....Whenever I call him either his cell phone is switched off or busy for hours.....Please tell me what to do.....I can't take it any longer.....I've lost appetite,sleep and mental peace............................
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female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (29 October 2011):
 I agree with the others, cut him off. Get off the on-line game and try to make something of your own life. You stated you are unhappily married. Why don't you end the marriage and really put yourself out there to find the love that you deserve?
In your current situation, you will never be in the loving, trusting relationship you are wanting. There are many reasons people stay married. Not sure what your reason is.
A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (29 October 2011):
 Sounds like this guy only comes back when he needs something- possibly money (I may be wrong) He has disrespected you so many times. Don't allow it. Love is out there- May not be packaged the way you want, so you're probably going to need to change your mind set about the type of guys you want to hook up with. All the best.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 I agree with ' so very confused'. At the moment you are lonely with your life and you are using him to try and make yourself feel happy, but it is all in your head and it is all a fantasy to you. He is 25 almost half your age and he is using you. You are probably just one woman of many on the internet that he is talking to and stringing along. You don't love him as a person because you have never even met him in real life. This is all just based on a computer. It is not healthy. You are lonely in life and you are gripping on to this hope of love on the internet because you feel it is the best that you can do. Get rid of him. Don't contact him, if he contacts you ignore him. Come of the computer for a few weeks and go on nights out with friends. Try and meet single men your own age in your area. Meet them face to face and start building friendships with people you see in front of you. Get out there and live your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): The first agony aunt to respond here is right.
True love is out there and you can find it.
We are all looking for it and some find it sooner than others.
However, you will find it : )
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Please tell you to do what you already know is the right thing..... CUT HIM OFF NO CONTACT.
he's using you sweetie...
I"m so sorry you are on the pain and suffering diet... no eating, no sleeping... crying... all for someone you've never met in real life that gives your sad life something to look forward to.
you say you are in love with him but you don't know him... you are in love with an idea, a fantasy... a desire... a need.
Delete his information
Block his number
block his email.
be strong.
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (28 October 2011):
 I'm sorry you're going through this situation. I'm ok with age difference relationships- as long as both people are of legal age of course, and they're mature. It seems though that he hasn't fully matured enough for a serious relationship with you. His lack of interest, respect, and love should not continue on. You're physically and mentally suffering because of it.
I think it would be best to cut all ties with him- and work on finding someone that's going to treat you right- and give you the love and care that you truly deserve.
Best of luck to you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): It was nearly 4 years ago that I was charmed by a handsome, smart man online. I believed everything he said to me as I wanted to believe that he was real and what he was saying was sincere. 3 years into our "relationship" (mind you we had never met and every time we were scheduled to meet it never worked out and something came up)..I found out that he had lied about his career and when I confronted him he finally admitted that was correct and then he told me it was over and he wished me the best. I was so hurt and devastated as he had wanted to start a family with me. Several months later we reestablished contact and I am asking myself why do I continue to go back to talking to him when he has yet to give me a phone number, address or a name that is for sure real. Please don't fall for this any longer. Live your life for the here and now and not for the virtual; believe in action and not words and don't let this man control your life. Stick with the people that you KNOW love you and don't waste another minute on someone who doesn't care no matter how intriguing it is, it is toxic.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2011): Don't bother with him. End contact. Because you are unhappy in your personal life you are clinging on to the idea of someone who has only played with your emotions. There can be no happy outcome so cut your loses. You ask what to do? Do nothing, consider your contact with him over and move on. Hard, but it's the only way to get yourself out of this heartache.
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