A
female
age
41-50,
*odkablue
writes:Yahoo!My Yahoo!MailMoreCan anyone give me some advice? I'm a little nervous writing this because i really dont want any nasty comments just some advice please.6 years ago I worked at the same place as my then fiancee and a good friend. I had a house with my fiancee - over time he hardly showed any emotion or affection towards me, I felt like a spare part.My good friend at the place where we worked showed more affection and stupidly I was flattered by this. Eventually I left my fiance and went out with my good friend.Obviously my fiance was mad about this and swore I wouldnt get any of the house, at the time things were so bad I was happy to leave.5 years on I'm still with the other guy and it's awful. He has left me financially insolvent and hasn't shown any affection for years. I just feel like a fool i have helped him out so much. Even a little while back when i was very low he never even called once to see how i was, now I've made a big mistake. Eight weeks ago I moved out and in with my sister - I'm still helping him pay the rent on his flat.I met a girl i used to work with too recently and she told me my first fiance had gotten married and had heard what had happened to me and was happy it had all gone wrong. I just feel like my lifes over. I feel stupid and regretful. I know my first fiance wasn't right for me because i found out from the girl I met he became good friends wwith a load of people he claimed he hated when we were together so he was two faced as well.The guy I'm with now, I just want rid of. He's drained me emotionally and financially. I just want to feel better but I dont think I ever will thanks for taking the time to read this.
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female
reader, marietomates  +, writes (4 July 2009):
 It sounds like you unfortunately had two bad guys in row. Do you think you have a tendency to let men walk all over you? I know that sounds harsh, but if your current man isn't and hasn't been affectionate with you for a long time why are you letting him drain you financially? Stop helping him. It doesn't sound like you're happy at all, and this relationship is obviously not healthy for you. You sound like the type of person who is empathetic and wants to help people; however, the unfortunate thing is sometimes people will try to mooch off of you and take you for granted. Nobody wants to feel stupid, but most of us have made bad decisions about relationships in the past, so you're not alone in feeling like that. You left your first fiance because he wasn't satisfying you and now the same has happened with your current man. Unless he is willing to work on bettering your relationship and stop draining you emotionally and financially there is no productive reason why you should stay with him. Save that money you've been giving him each month and take a vacation or do something for yourself, I think you need it! Good luck!
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