A
female
age
36-40,
*AYA
writes:Girls, I need your gut instincts.I recently logged into my boyfriend's page for the heck of it and there I found him messaging back and forth with one of his ex from 2-3 years ago. Now while they were dating, he was into her, but she broke up with him. So now she is back apologizing for what she's done in the past and he agrees to ask out to lunch to "talk". From the start we both agree, EXES are out of the picture in order for us to work out.So if he is HAPPY with me, why is he trying to bring her back in the picture? Now tell me, how should I confront him what I found out, or just let it go like I don't know?BTW, we are in a long distance relationship for over a year already.
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broke up, his ex, long distance Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): i had almost the sam promblem i started dating my friends ex. she got pissed then stopped talking to the both of us when i left for thailand for a year she called him and wanted to be friends it had been 5 months how do you want to be just friends after 5 months. try talking to him about the way you feel and explain that you dont like the fact the he is hanking with her. if that dont work put him on the guilt trip tell him you love him and you trust him that way if he is doing anything he will feel like shit!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2008):
I'm sorry to say this, but I think your boyfriend is not serious with your relationship. You know the answer to your question and please try to accept it.
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A
female
reader, lulababe  +, writes (2 September 2008):
you have to confront your partner about what you have found out,but you also have to handle it very carefully as you looked on his personal site.i would maybe just bring up in conversation about ex partners see how he reacts,get him to talk about them and see if he mentions her.after talking and he doesnt say he has been in touch with her,you have an open invitation to confront him and explain what you know but also give him time to explain it could be he is just been polite to her as she has got in touch,but if thats the case he should be able to talk to you about it. if you are going to have a long distance relationship you need to have trust without that you will have nothing.
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A
male
reader, Straight Up1  +, writes (1 September 2008):
 have to be pretty straight up here... She dumnped him and now is coming back around... chances are that his ego is taking over and he will want to fix it by seeing where it goes with her.long distance is very hard and more times than not..... death for love!!letting it go is just masking the problem here.... if you had an exes are taboo arrangement going into your relationship...then he has broken that pact and is willing to lose you over this messaging and lunch get together...seems like you are coming in second here!!confront him in person if possible...but if not confront him anyways... my guess he will tell you that this is nothing and he just wants to be friends or listen to her apology and thats it....but being apart as you are...realistically he will be seeing her behind your back.Any way you look at it...not cool!!
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