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female
,
anonymous
writes: I've been with the same guy for about a year now and it seems that we have overcome every obstacle that was in our way. We overcame the age difference of 14 years, we got our parents to accept the relationship, and we made peace with eachother's differences. The only thing left in the way is one problem. My boyfriend has had a problem with alcohol and it really worries me. He openly admits that he has a problem, but doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. I can't pressure him to get help, but I don't want to see him go through any of the health problems that go along with it either. He is not a bad person to be around when he gets drunk; he does not become angry or irratible, but it is still a problem. I love this man and don't want to see him go through this problem, so how should I try to fix this?
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female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (30 May 2006):
 Dear Reader,
it's great that you are worried about him, this shows you care. I understand that you want to be there for him, you want to stand by him and help him with whatever he's going through because you care for him so deeply. (It's obviously not great that he has a problem but I'm getting to that bit)
Maybe he's not doing anything about his problem becasue he thinks it's a battle he can't win? He doesn't see the point in trying. It's good to know that you understand you can't pressure him into getting help, it's just asking for a row, a fight. Just let him fight his fight in his own time and in his own way. Let him know you are concerned, but don't nagg him. Let him no that you love him with no "iffs" "ands" or "buts". Let him know you are there to support him and I really do hope all goes well.
Good Luck, All The Best and Blessed Be,
Phoebe
xxx
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (30 May 2006):
 Does he know about the health risks associated with drinking? Does he know about the long term problems that can be caused to his liver, his skin, his heart etc by heavy drinking?
I would have a chat to your GP or get some information from websites or books about such health risks and talk to him from the point of view that it is the long term implications that are the issue here.
Tell him you want him around, you want him to be in your life for a long time and it is no good if he is ill or dying.
Often people don't consider the health risks with drugs or alchol or over or under eating so I would attack it from that angle.
Obviously you can't force him to get help but the more and better arguments you can throw at him, it might persaude him to finally do something about it!
Good luck
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