A
female
age
30-35,
*francy
writes:*OP's won title*i met a guy some weeks ago, i fell in love with him and he did the same, the thing is that he has a kid with another woman who fortunately happen to get married thats now according to him... i love this guy very much and am even looking forward to marrying him, he confess he chose me and he even started calling me his wife to be.. do you think its wise to build my hopes up with a guy who has a kid already? the other thing is that he is 33 years old and am just 20... but am sure he is unmarried... please advice me.. i seriously need your help..
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 You only met few weeks ago, that's too quick to call someone wife to be. Also he doesn't have to choose if his ex is already out of the picture. He's using all the words to reel you in. Having a kid is not the biggest mistake in life. Find out more about him, such as how they broke up, how often is he visiting his kid, how much child support he's paying, etc.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2010): The others are right. Give it some time. Some weeks? You may know you love someone early on, but that doesnt mean that you need to rush anything. His story may be true or he may be sweeping you off your feet with lies. Im not telling you to dump him! By all means keep dating, he may be a great guy. But take it slow just to be sure you two are on the same page.
You should also take it slow for his kid. No matter how old this child is he/she will need time to adjust to you. If you rush in as insta-mom the kid might develop negative emotions toward you, and who wants to have that situation?
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A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 i dont think you should even be considering marriage with a man who you have known for "some weeks". it takes months and years to build up love and trust, so just relax, enjoy the relationship, and get to know him properly before rushing into anything. just slow it down, and find out more about this other woman and baby before you make any decisions. good luck
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 You should check out his story about that kid and not simply believed what he told you . He could have been married to her for all you know.
He comes with a baggage and he will not be able to give himself all to you .
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A
female
reader, shaniii08  +, writes (15 April 2010):
 I think you should give it a bit of time im also 20 and just started dating a 29 year old so maybe just get to know him more and sus out the relationship between them
good luck x
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