| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: okay, so me and my best friends brother had sex and i thought i liked him except the only thing thats in my way from letting myself actually liking him is his controling girlfriend. who no one in his family likes, and i know this because they say it all the time and i'm really close to them. but i'm starting to think that the only thing he wants is just sex because he's tried 2 more time after that happen. i'm not really sure he even cares. i mean i tried to be mad at him so that i wouldn't like him anymore but everytime we are around each other i can't be once we start to talk. it just seems complicated and i'm not sure what to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-to-do-when-the-person-youre-attracted.html
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): You don't say how old either of you are, so I'm going to assume for now that you are both between 15 and 18. Sex really, really complicates things even for grown adults. You sort of give a little piece of yourself away when you are intimate with someone. Girls tend to feel more of a connection with the guy they sleep with, and guys often lose interest, especially if they do not have a commitment to the girl and just had sex with her. The fact that his girlfriend is not liked by many of his family members only means that he will probably hang onto her even longer because they don't like her. I really don't recommend sleeping with him again. And as for getting his undivided attention and having him dump the other girl and commit to you, at this point all you can do is try to play games and that never results in anything that lasts. Plus teenage boys are SO immature. Guys will take sex if it's offered to them; often they don't care who the girl is if she's offering it and they don't have to give anything for it. And girls seem to get their hearts broken when they give it up too fast. Making a guy wait for as long as possible is the best way to keep him chasing you. And you deserve to be treated better than he is treating you. YOU are special, and if you don't respect yourself, no guy is going to respect you either. He is behaving immaturely and selfishly, but you are enabling him (helping him) to behave that way. Be polite. Make small talk. Go out with other guys (don't sleep with them for a long time if at all at your age though--you'll have them chasing you for your attention if you don't), and tell him that what you did was probably a mistake and brought on by heat of the moment feelings, but you have no intention of repeating that mistake because you are too good for that. Tell him if he wants to have you, he's going to have to work for it and that means NO OTHER GIRLFRIEND. He may never try to woo you, but when he sees how confident, in-demand, and self-respecting you are, he will be curious if nothing else. Good luck!
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