A
female
age
41-50,
*eepdown
writes:hi there, last month i met a man online. we flirted for a while and then out of the blue (although i wasnt surprised) he told me he had a grlfriend. i said that was ok and we could remain friends so we have been emailing for a weeks as friends, i just wanted advice on whether i should continue emailing even if he says that he has feelings for me? am i just wasting my time hoping that something might happen or should i cut off all contact and move on?thanks for listening
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): im in a similar situation to your guy. its not a nice one, no internet involved though. i, like him, cant/wont leav my girlfriend, yet cant help being attracted to the other girl. i think you should end it one way or the other, or make him. there needs to be one couple, and one single person and it needs to be made clear who is in what position, and soon. it doesnt matter who does it, its the only fair situation for all of you.
now to go take my own advice...
A
female
reader, xkimx  +, writes (6 February 2007):
 Dont you care about her feelings. If you were with a guy, how would YOU feel if another girl stole him. What Comes Around Goes Around, and if you do it to her. Someone will do it to you return. Put this down to experience. Don't get involved with a man if he already has a girlfriend. Play a bit harder to get and respect yourself more. It's a hard situation to be in as you are like the 3rd person in the relationship, if you tell him I’m going to back off and tell him that if he likes you enough he will know what to do, tell him to make himself happy but you aint being the rebound girl or the girl who's his bit on the side it isn't fair on you.
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A
female
reader, xkimx +, writes (6 February 2007):
i had the same problem with a boy that said he likes me but he has a girlfriend be very careful , do u like him ? think about it if u do go for it but dont expect him to leave her or anything wild like that because i expected to much of him and wante dhim then and there and it didnt nwork out he realised how much he liked his girlfriend
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (6 February 2007):
 No problem.Hope things work out for you. Let me know if you need anything else.
CD
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A
female
reader, AngelEyes420  +, writes (6 February 2007):
It sounds like he is just out fishing for ego boosts.
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A
female
reader, deepdown +, writes (6 February 2007):
deepdown is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou for the quick response..i think you were right, i never thought of the girlfriend but i couldnt do that to anyone so im going to email him saying exacly what you wrote..thankyou again
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (6 February 2007):
It's not impossible that he could leave his girlfriend for you but it seems unlikely. If he wanted to wouldn't he already have done it? Also how comfortable are you with the idea of taking some other woman's guy because that's what you're doing. If I were you I would make it clear that you like him but tell him you're not willing to be responsible for the breakdown of his relationship so if he were to finish with his girlfriend you'd be willing to reconsider but for now you're giving him some space to work out what he wants. This gives him a chance to do the honourable thing by his girlfriend instead of cheating on her.
CD
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