A
female
age
51-59,
*osypopp
writes:i have an ex with a girlfriend and a child.but even before i knew this i had contacted him through a couple of letters that were very illict about what i wanted to do with him. i gave him my cell number to contact me if he was interested. well he did call and left a voicemail saying he wanted to meet. i was unavailable at that time. a few weeks goes by. he calls again. this time i answer and we start to mainly talk about about him and then he mentions that he's having issues with the girlfriend and her family. and the only time he mentioned he had a kid with her was because he said he was babysitting and i said for who? then he explained. i realize i was to assume he was still single. but if he was in a relationship why did he bother too call? what's even more confusing is that the second phone call we talked about meeting each other and to call to confirm we see each other saturday.and at the end of the call he lead me to believe we were going to have sex. well so far he hasn't called prior to that. saturday came and went and no call. what's going on with this guy? and should i even attempt to call him? or even pursue this anymore? i do have feelings for him. but how far should i put myself out there to him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2009): You ex has a girlfriend and a child, he is off limits. You wrote him a couple of letters and offered him sex. He responded because he wanted to have sex with you, but he didn't follow through because he did not want to have sex with you more than he wanted something else, perhaps to be faithful to his girlfriend and child.
It really doesn't matter why he called you because you actually pursued him without knowing his relationship status and you offered him sex.
You say you have feelings for him, why would you want to rekindle the relationship with an offer of sex? The relationship is broken, sex is an emotional experience and if you have sex with him before his emotional bond with you is restablished, he will never bond with you and take the free sex that is offered or not.
He chose to not take you up on your offer, leave it at that and stop chasing this guy who has moved on.
Leave him alone.....he has a lot on his plate right now and some new responsibilities in his life.
If he contacts you again, tell him you were sorry you didn't realize he was in a new relationship and out of respect for his relationship, you don't want to stay in contact. That is what I think, you shouldn't "put yourself out there to him"....
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