A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I've been with my partner for nearly five years now and I do love him but he is ruining our relationship with his temper. He is never violent but he flies off the handle at the slightest thing and its reached the point where I'm walking eggshells and going out of my way to make everything perfect so he can't find fault with anything. He's always nice after the dust settles but he's like Jekyll and Hyde and I can't deal with the stress of it anymore. I don't really want to split up but I don't want to put up with a man who shouts and moans either. Any advice would be great. Thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (11 November 2007):
 A guy like this can change if he wants to.
I was engaged to a girl until she saw my temper fly one time. She immediately broke it off.
Before I married my wife I warned her of my bad temper and told her just to stay out of the way if it flies and I would never hurt her.
To make a long story short she saw my temper ONE TIME and was ready for a divorce only a couple of weeks after we married.
When she got pregnant I finally realized that I needed to change for fear I might hurt my children and not realize it. That was almost 28 years ago. So people can change if they really want to. He may need to get help for anger management, but he needs to want to get the help.
I hope this helps. Doc
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