A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend of 5 years rarely wants to have sex with me! I have explained how this makes me feel and how it kills my confidence and self esteem. but yet it seems like he does not understand....he always says I have issues meaning I am a nympho and I am not normal cause i want sex all the time. but that's not true, I asked for maybe at-least twice a week but to him that's too much which seems odd cause most guys want to have sex alot or would like a girl who constantly wants sex right? he don't even like for me to give him oral!!! its frustrating...... is there something wrong with me? or him ? or is it all in my head...... please help its killing me to be denied by the man i love (fyi- I am not dirty or ugly I am very clean and try soooo hard to be sexy for him )
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so much... I dont think its porn though.. I watch it more then he does lol.... he has been stressed alot lately and maybe thats it I just never realized that it would cause him to not want to have sex, I doubt he is cheating but who knows? it was not like this before until maybe the past year since he has been going thru alot... so I will work on trying to be so much of a horn dog and have patience maybe this will all change :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): Holy crap OP. I wish I could say it more gently, but your boyfriend is weird. I wish my girlfriend was like you, I'd love it.
I have absolutely no clue why he's acting like that. Low sex drive/testosterone? Ridiculously tired for no reason? Are you sure he's not cheating?
You shouldn't take a hit to your self-confidence for this. Your boyfriend is just odd.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter  +, writes (11 December 2010):
 Im sorry but you should understand that he may NOT have a problem and you may not have one either.
It is a myth that all men like sex all the time! Just as it is a myth that all women prefer less sex more of the time!
What you have here is probably a comfort zone you've hit after such a long relationship. You have to ask yourself if it has always been like this, if he has lost interest over time, if anything else might be going on at work or in your personal lives - but don't assume that he has a "problem".
Talk to him, take time to have a meal and really discuss how you feel. It might just be that you're no longer as compatible as you once were. There isn't anything wrong with that other than the fact that if it is a big deal to you in your relationship and you cannot come to an agreement on some kind of action to take, then it might spell the end somewhere down the line without work!
I hope you get things back on track! Good luck! Xxx
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 December 2010):
 Yikes! First of all, don't ever change. You do not have issues, and most guys would jump for a girl as into sex as they are.
Second, has he had erectile problems at all? Sometimes guys with issues like that tend to just shut down rather than address the issue.
Third, have you two been fighting about sex or other things? Sometimes, built up resentment can squelch sex drive...on both sides.
Has he also been stressed or depressed? That can sap sex drive as well. Otherwise, he just might have a lower drive.
There's another possibility - he could be heavily using porn, which can sap sexual appetite. I wouldn't jump to that conclusion, but it does tend to lessen the urges.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): Well, first of all, there is nothing wrong with you, your boyfriend has the problem and without some information from him, it's nearly impossible to figure out what the problem is.
He could be stressed over life, depressed, taking medication that depresses his sex drive, having an affair or masturbates to porn too often. Or it may just be a down period which he will rebound from. It is impossible totell over the internet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): I don't like him. Couples need to "make love". And do other things not called "making love". But every guy is different, I suppose, some more unusual in that department, and every relationship different as well.
You love him, so you'll have to stick with it and try to make it work out. I'm sorry to say that sexual reckonings do not easily change, just as principles do not, so I am unable to offer advice here, only opinion. I can't see so so much hope for a couple who differ so greatly in their reckonings, if ya catch my drift...
But you love him, so you need not be disheartened about this. Let's see what people say.
Watching this,
Tante Victoire
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