A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We were together for a few months and did everything like a real couple but he wouldnt call himself my boyfriend. He said he thought of us as dating but not in a relationship. I asked him if I was his girlfriend and he started freaking out. He said he's had girlfriends before but they were friends for years before going out. When I asked if we were exclusive he said he wasnt ready for that. He was, however, ready to have sex, knowing that I only have sex in a committed relationship. So he asked for oral because in his mind, its not sex and he claimed not to be the type to ask me out just to sleep with me. I ended up "dumping" him and said that only guys who are worthy get to sleep with me and we obviously want different things and he was almost on the verge of tears. I just dont understand the whole thing, why did he have such a problem with the title? My friends say he was just a jerk but there was something genuine about him, maybe he just wasnt ready... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (3 July 2009):
 Nah, he was a jerk with commitment issues. There's no point to dating someone you're not on the same page with. Did he really expect you to hang around for years until he felt ready? LOL! Relationships don't work that way!
Big points for sticking to your standards. There are plenty of other guys who can meet them.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, laura585 +, writes (3 July 2009):
Maybe typical commitment issues? He wants all the benefits of a committed relationship but doesnt actually want to say its a committed relationship. I bet if you were seeing other guys he wouldnt like that too much. I dont have a solution for you but like you said- I just dont think he's ready.
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