A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this man on a night out and he was single, so we hit it off right away. He later told me he had 2 children and after a month of seeing him he got back with his ex, i think he only got back with her for the children. Now we are still talking and meet up now and then. I have really fallen for him, please could you help me with what to do? Also i am 18 and he is 26. thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone who has responded, i have read everybodies and really taken in your advice. You are all so right! why on earth should i put up with being his bit on the side? thank you everyone, i have seen the light and its over, whatever it was we had. thank again and take care x x x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): I was in your shoes. I gave my lover complete space - no texts, calls or meetings for 6 weeks and he tried (begged) to get back with me saying he was ready to leave his wife for good etc. The weirdest things was though that I didn't want him then. My self worth had picked up, my social life improved and I realised that I didn't want to be an afterthought. Second choice. Try this first - it will be like splitting up with you in control. You can then decide after the silence. Your reaction may surprise you - but you have to cut things off completely. Any weakness on your part and he is still under your skin. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): Hmmm, this is all about creating a triangle for himself in his relationship with his wife, it is called triangulation...you are the thing that steals his focus from his family, his marriage, and his wife and even his personal issues surrounding all of that. He simply does not want to be a responsible or loving adult commited to his marriage....why would you want a guy who doesn't really want you, but you are there as a mere distraction to an otherwise unsatisfactory situation?
You haven't fallen hard. You are mistaking intensity (of feeling rejected, unrequited love) with truth. The truth is this man is not good for you, if you enjoy pain then keep seeing him. If you are OK with being a threat to his marriage then keep seeing him, if you are OK with getting his left overs and crumbs then keep seeing him, if you are OK with having your heart locked up so tight that someone else who is free cannot love you, then keep seeing him. You are literally wasting your heart and your own love life to be with this JERK.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (20 December 2007):
 He was with you for a month. Then he had a choice. He chose his wife. Luckily for him, it didn't put you off. So now he have both. His wife most of the time and you to fill in gaps.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (20 December 2007):
 HiI agree with Waterloo sunset. He wants his cake and eat it. He doesnt love either of you. But obviously his wife is more useful to him domestically or whatever reason. And maybe you fill the sex side of things.If he went back to his ex, you should of left it at that really. Heartbreaking as it is. He made his choice. What about his kids? Affairs can break their hearts. Surely they are more important than you? Harsh but true.You deserve someone thats free to give you a proper relationship.Good luck.C xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): Run like hell! He went back with his ex and he was with you, why are you still there? There was no need for him to go back he could still see his kids without being with her. No, he went back to her and he has you on the side. Get out of that triangle now before he does your head in and he will.take carexxx
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