A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a live in boyfriend of 2 years who golfs every weekend without any thought of me. If I ask what's up, he becomes irate and tells me I am a control freak and he doesn't need permission. I am tired of being lonely, any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (14 September 2008):
 The two of you need to work out some kind of compromise. My EX used to fish every weekend, gone friday night and not home until Sunday night. Then he hunted. The he got the golf bug and golfed on Saturday and Sunday. Forget going out in the evening as he was either too tired when he got home or had an early tee the next morning. We had fight after fight about where did I fit in with his life and he never put me as a priority. After we had a baby it got worse and I got very resentful. Eventually I just learned to live my life by myself and now we are divorced. So, before you let it get that far down the road you really need to speak up and work out a better blend that works for the two of you. Communication is the key. But at some point, you do need to fit into his life.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (14 September 2008):
Plan in advance to go out on the evening. You can't golf in the dark.
If you want to do something together then make it happen, don't just tell him not to do something without offering an alternative.
He can have hours on the course during the day while you spend his money on a nice dress, then on the evening go out and do something amazing and screw his brains out when you get home.
You'll find he finishes golfing earlier to go out again next weekend, and even takes Sunday off if you convince him that staying in bed is a nicer option.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2008): Dear Poster
I have empathy with you; in the golf clubs they joke about "golfwidows"; yeah it can get to a person when the guys are on the golfcourse so much; but I have two suggestions:
Find something to keep yourself busy with whilst he is playing golf; or have you considered taking up golf yourself?
Secondly talk to him and explain to him that you are not trying be selfish or controlling him but you are getting lonely; try and reach a compromise; certain weekends or times for golf and others for the two of you;
Don't let this get you down; try and find a solution.
Best wishes and keep SMILING!
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