A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ive got a dilemma!I've had a thing for one of my male friends for nearly 2 years. At first he knew about it but had a g/f but they broke up nearly a year ago. Since then we have been flirting and pulling but then he seems to go cold on me for a while afterwards before it all starts again. Theres a sexual chemistry between us, everyone at work knows we have a thing for each other, but its like we are both reluctant to do anything about it and its driving me insane. I dont want to say anything because i think he will just make him have a big head, bigger that it already is plus ive tried and its resulted in him going cold.All his male friends like me and always text me but im not interested in them in the slightest but he gives the impression that he isnt bothered about me but his body language gives it away.My friends have often told me to get over him as hes more trouble that what hes worth. Ive tried but when hes nice to me it happens all over again. I seem to see the best in him all the time.Last night whilst out at the dancing we got close. He went away for a bit to the bar so i was just dancing (not intimatly) with some over guys from work that he also knows. He just ignored me and went over to another group of people, when i went over he walked away to speak to others. This happened a few times.After i knew that he was avoiding me for sure i went over and said to "your very quiet, whats up?" he just looked at me, laughed in my face and went away. His friend then started pushing us together whilst dancing which resulted in him storming off.I know that he likes me, he's told me before but why is he acting in this way. He doesnt want me but doesnt want anyone else to have me either? Cant he see that im not interested in those other guys?I dont get it, we arent even going out or even seeing each other but its games all the time.Tnx
View related questions:
at work, broke up, flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007): Well I’ve been here before too so maybe I can help I had a male friend and we had a similar chemistry with my male friend we still do
We flirt and pull each other just for fun, where in college together and it is fun that’s all it will ever be, at one time like you I wanted more until I realized he is not going to commit though time has made it easier for me to except this
but it sounds to me like that’s all it will be you and him too just a flirty thing,
Try and except this accept this because it sounds like this guy simply doesn’t want to commit right now,
Otherwise he would be with you I’m not saying he doesn’t fancy you, But he doesn’t want a relationship, as he simply isn’t very mature by the sounds of things with these silly games,
I know you feel stuck on him at the moment and you probably will be for a good while but give yourself time, and you will feel that spark for some other fella who will treat you great sweetie promise,
Just back off your friend for a while let him and yourself breathe, treat him as any-other colleague and see what happens,
When you no longer give you attention to his sulking it will stop,
boys are just babies at the end of the day like if your little brother was sulking “supernanny” would say to Mum, ignore his behavior I’m going to ask you to do the same its your reaction he wants, maybe it will work out but he has some emotional growing to do first and can you wait that long?
Good luck
?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007): I am not sure what is going on here, but I think if he was interested in dating you, nothing would stop him from asking you out....I don't really think he is interested in that for what ever reason. Possibly he is very serious about his job and does not want to date a girl from work, which is a smart and mature attitude, I think you might stop tring to tease him and assess his attitude and continue to just be his friend, then if the relationship develops into something more, he will surely let you know by asking you out.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007): i can see how the lure of his on off nature is very attractive , but this will never go any farther to where you want it to. he can see that this attraction is mostly chemistry and as strong as that is it wont sustain the practical issues inherent in long term relationships.
i have had this myself, it doesn't ever get there and the frustration and longing is crippling and distracts from actually important areas of life. you are missing out on so much by playing a game with no end and no winners
...............................
|
