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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: i have been sleeping with a man who is separated and in the process of a divorce. he says he cares about me, but after we have sex, he seems distant for a few days. please help, i have fallen in love with him but i dont understand his behavior
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2007): Hi there... your guy is still caught up in the trauma of his failed relationship, and may be seeing you and sleeping with you to make himself feel better. Once he has slept with you, he obviously feels better and then pulls away, until the pain builds up again and he sleeps with you again.... It's good to care about other people and to give them help when needed, but this is taking it a bit too far... this is not the right time for him to fall in love, and if he does, it will be rebound. So from whichever angle you look at it, it's not about you here - and once his relationship is completely over, you may find yourself dumped as well. You deserve more, girl...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2006): My exboyfriend used to be the same, it's simple he's not ready for the emotional commitment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2006): You are confused because his actions are not matching up with his words. He says he cares about you but he's distant with you for days after you two have sex. Unfortunately, not wanting to further emotionally connect with you after having sex, is a big problem as far as I'm concerned. It could be he doesn't care as much as he says he does...or for reasons of a personal nature (divorce process) , he's decided to take it slow but why not just tell you that? I guess I'm thinking..if he wanted to take things slow why doesn't he just say so. Most men who care deeply for a woman would do this. They wouldn't want her confused and hurt..they would want to make sure she knows what he's going through so she doesn't take it all wrong and bail. My simple assessment here is..when men really, really want you, they will put in the hard efforts and work hard at contacting and being loving. . The will pick up a phone and dial a few numbers or e-mail..or text..or fax..or instant message even just to say say "hi, how are you doing?" I get the feeling he gets what he wants for you and maybe he's just not feeling he has to work hard at this...or sadly, he's just not at the same place at you are. I think you and he need to talk but be prepared to hear something you may not want to hear. You do have a right to know what the heck is going on? Be strong, girl and I'm wishing you courage and good luck. Take care
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A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (28 December 2006):
 Hi there,
it might be best to talk to him. dont give any suggestion cos it might hopefully have nothing to do with what both of you shared. Just tell him what u said here that he seem distant and if there is anything wrong. it is better to do this in person than over the phone.
Goodluck dear and a happy new year to you.
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