A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I can't stop thinking about a man I use to work with. It was a two way attraction although neither of us said anything to each other. The only thing he said was that I should be more discreet when I was working with him. (He was the top boss). I was a little taken back by that as he was the one giving me the looks etc! I remained professional. At no point was I overtly flirting with him. I may have stared at him a few times but was well aware of my body language.I have now left and have spoken a few times via phone and e-mail about professional matters now that I have left. I met him by accident a couple of weeks ago and he looked unsure as to how to approach me. He had a light quick conversation e.g. Are you on your way to work? Is this your son? I could not really talk but before he left, I asked if we could meet and he said ring him. I noticed how he stared deeply into my eyes.This is the hard part as I only have his work number and I am finding it hard to ring my old work place. He has been given my numbers and he has my e-mail adddress as he has used them before.He is unsure of my domestic situation and I feel this is what is making him cautious plus he is not certain of my feelings as I have never said anything. He has obviously picked up on something as that is way he said be more discreet. I feel people at work were noticing and that is one of the main reasons I do not want to call.I dropped a letter to his work stating that I was sorry he was not able to be matched to mentor me, this was the main reason he did the mentoring course I suggested to him and that I would like to meet if he is interested. He has not replied.Can someone advise why he stared into my eyes the way he did - it was such a nice but weird feeling.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): You might want to consider there is the possibility he told you to be discreet because you were acting inappropriately flirtatious with him and others were noticing and it wasn't professional. Sometimes we think we are being coy yet to everyone else it is blatant.
I have to wonder this because all the contact is one way and can be documented. You are also making contact of a personal nature to a business and that makes me question what you think discreet really is? Since he is the top boss, he could have easily made the call to be your mentor but he didn't and I believe your prior company human resources was probably made aware of the issue.
I would tread carefully on this matter b/c he only permits you to contact him at work so that means he does not want the nature of your correspondence to be personal.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (14 March 2011):
 Well, all I can say is that if he wants to get in touch with you he will.
However, if he knows you are in a relationship - albeit a very unhappy one you're attempting to get out of, he may be wary of responding, and not really want to "go there...."
Again, refer to my first comment above.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Denise
We are both in a similiar position. Both have families. I am in a very unhappy relationship that has been dragging on and one of which I am trying to get out of. I know he has children but not married.
I am just trying to understand his body language as it has been puzzling me for months!
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (13 March 2011):
Have you asked this question before? I seem to remember it from a month or two ago.
Anyway, what IS your "domestic situation"? Are you married?
Because if you are, I have only one thing to say: forget about it.
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