A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend is pretty much perfect. he always makes time for me. he trusts me. we never argue. he always tells me he loves me, and how he wants to one day get married and have a family. he always tells me he never speaks to other girls anymore, never flirts with anyone else and im all he wants. however, i (stupidly, i know) logged into his facebook account the other day and read his messages. he has a long list of girls in his private messages, and he calls them 'babe' and 'baby' and there is one girl who he is calling 'stunning' and 'sexy' and 'gorgeous'. he asks some girls when they are next free and others he says he misses. now i know im wrong to have read these messages but i cant pretend i never saw them now. what do i do?
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female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (26 January 2012):
 Pretty much the same thing happend to me a few months back (and i'm still with him now), he begged and begged me to go out with him, i eventually did, then suspected something suspicious between him and my 'best friend' i went onto her facebook and found inapropriate messages, and when i say inapropriate i mean "lets have sex" with loads of kisses! I confronted both of them and they both siad they were 'messing' we're through it now.
However i wouldnt stand for this with your boyfriend i would confront him right away! See what he has to say for himself.
Good Luck
A
female
reader, 1sunshine  +, writes (26 January 2012):
 Perfect?? Find him the perfect way to the door and kick his butt out!! He is a liar and a cheater. You deserve much better than that...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012):
He's a player . . . get the hell away and leave him behind !
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): "he has a long list of girls in his private messages, and he calls them 'babe' and 'baby' and there is one girl who he is calling 'stunning' and 'sexy' and 'gorgeous'. he asks some girls when they are next free and others he says he misses."
"my boyfriend is pretty much perfect"
you're kidding, right? he's lying to you.
it's time to re-assess this whole relationship- it doesn't matter how you found this out, he is cheating on you. you need to speak to him about this.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (25 January 2012):
 Not perfect, not even close to perfect. I'm assuming something prompted you to hack his facebook, a gut feeling or something. He lies to you, it sounds like he might actually be cheating ("I miss you" "let's meet up"), he is not trustworthy. There is no point in staying with him, the trust is gone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): I have been in a very similar situation. I called my bf out on his flirting and admitted that I had snooped. We worked it out and I forgave, but I never trusted. I would snoop all the time, making sure he was being faithful. He eventually did cheat on me, and I even got past THAT, but the behavior never stopped. We're obviously not together anymore.
Basically, this could very well be a precursor to things in the future. Honesty is absolutely the most important thing in a relationship. And you deserve someone who will treat you like the wonderful, beautiful person you are.
Best of wishes, love.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 January 2012):
 how can a man who flirts so outragesouly behind your back and then lies to you about it be perfect?
what did he do that made you not trust him in the first place?
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (25 January 2012):
 It's time to give yourself a reality check and make yourself realize that your boyfriend is far from "pretty much perfect" - that he is in fact cheating on you. If you want to be with someone who is talking to a shitload of women online and setting up dates, then by all means, stay with him. Just be prepared that you'll probably will have to give him a third, fourth and fifth chance down the line because this guy is a player.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 January 2012):
 So this two-faced rat TOLD you one thing, and is DOING quite another....
Only question I have: WHY would you want to spend even another minute with him?????
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Confused33 +, writes (25 January 2012):
I was in the same situation.. It's hard because you love him and have already planned your lives together but he disrespected you and betrayed you. I consider this a form of cheating and as much as you want to believe that he's going to change or as much as he tells you he's going to change keep in mind that it is VERY hard to do so.
I left my ex because I could no longer trust him and without trust there can't be a relationship. You can talk to him about it but the main point is that he disrespected you and you can't trust him anymore.
Hope this helps! And just know that there is someone out there that is willing to give you the world and never do this to you, you just have to be patient and wait. Good Luck! :)
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