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female
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*ambo
writes: hey, i have an issue thats driving me mad! i started a new job a couple of months ago and met the most sweetest and gorgeous man who i now also work with, there was chemistry between us straight away! after a couple of weeks we all went out for a staff party, we flirted and talked and we told each other we really liked one another,he finally plucked up the courage to kiss me,he wasnt very forthcoming to kiss me but eventually it happened,i put it down to him being shy.nothing else happened apart from alot of kissing and touching, the flirting carried on for a few days and so we decided to spend the day with one another,it was great until i asked him if he wanted to see me and go out again, to this he couldnt give me another answer apart from 'i dont know' which i must admit, annoyed me!, we didnt part on the best of terms and so our date was over. he was really cold with me at work the next day and this carried on for a couple of days until i cracked a joke and he laughed,this broke the silence and we spoke again, i felt totally and utterly rejected and hid my sadness and my feeling of rejectment from him and tried to carry on as normal as friends,this was so difficult because i really liked him but i played it cool, we never spoke about the date again.over the last 2 weeks the chemistry between us has been so intense and everyone at work has noticed it, i catch him staring at me,hes forever touching and tickling me and sitting real close to me but has never mentioned going out again or even that he actually likes me,im really confused, i want to beable to ask him what exactly he wants but im scared of the rejection and the embarassment that may follow.today he was talking about relationships, i know hes waiting for the right girl to come along and he desperatly wants to settle down but for some strange reason he came out with that he reckons he might find someone who in not so many words..could be his 'shagging buddy'!! i could of died when he said this, i was gutted cause i want to be with him and would be dreadfully upset if he went and done that with a complete stranger! ive even contemplated offering to be his 'shagging buddy' as he puts it! im really hoping that you can enlighten me on my situation and give me some advice on what you think i should do, hes 38 years old so i wouldnt exactly class him as imature, i on the other hand are only 26, and i do wonder if the age difference is putting him off. sorry for the novel,but i desperatly need some advice.thanks very much. oh yeah,hes not married and has no children so i know that its not someone else.
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at work, flirt, kissing, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, Angel-lee +, writes (25 November 2005):
He is looking for a bit of fun. Sure if you are both of age and you want the same thing then go for it and by the same thing i mean, seeing him when he wants a shag and generally just sleeping together then fine but if you dont then dont. Tell him you thought he liked you more than just a shag and that your not that type of girl. If you tell him you want a shag buddy too then you certainly arent the right girl for him because like he said he wants to find the right girl and im sure he doesnt want a tart as his girlfriend. Tell him your not that kind of girl and that you thought he liked you more than that, once you have told him try and stay away from him for a while because he may realise that you ARE infact different from most of the slappers he has met before. Prove to him that you are girlfriend material and not just a bit of meat. Men like a strong woman.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005): if you offer to be his shagging buddy that is all you will ever be. he's testing you. he may think at 26 you're to young to settle down with someone his age. if you are lookig to sttle down then let him know that, hes not a mind reader. At 38 hes not so much imature as insecure. it sounds like he fancies you but isnt convinced you're in it for the long term. its up to you to let him know either directly or indirectly what you want.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2005): maybe he's shy, maybe he has no idea what he's doing. sit down and talk to him about it! best way to figure out what's going on is to consult the source!
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