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He flirts and it irritates me

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 November 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 November 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid

My bf of 3 years often flirts with his immediate boss or co-workers, someone or other. Its not that he flirts with everyone, he picks a person for a time, flirts with them until he loses interest or they lose interest and then move on other person. And tells me about his flirtion all the time.

Its really irritating me, i told him to stop flirting or else stop telling me. He is not doing either. I know he is not cheating on me, but i have a nagging suspition that he would cheat if the person whom he is flirting gives me heed.

What should i do, please help me. Im fighting with him everyday cause of this and its spoiling my day and my peace of mind. Please help me

View related questions: co-worker, flirt, move on

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2013):

Tell him to stop it, or it's over.

IMHO he's doing it to hurt you, and/or make you feel like he's some great catch. That if/when you mess up, he has other options...so he's doing it to keep you in line. I was with a guy like that once...and when I found out he was doing more than just flirting behind my back I finally dumped him.

That was one of the best decisions I ever made.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (29 November 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntOh dear, these questions always make me feel bad. I'm a flirt. I'm a natural flirt... I flirt like I breathe.. I don't even think about it and for years I had no idea I was flirting... I just thought I was friendly and outgoing...

I think for me I would need to know HOW he flirts.... what he says and does.. because if he FLIRTS LIKE I DO, then I would see nothing wrong with it.

I asked my husband if he wanted me to stop flirting (we were dating at the time) and his response is one of the reasons I married him "NO I would never ask you to stop flirting, asking you to stop flirting is like asking you to stop breathing!" He understands that my flirtations are part of my make up.

BUT my flirtations are NOT overtly sexual. I NEVER touch anyone.. it's NEVER done by text... and it's always in public with others around. AND the second anyone seems to indicate that they are interested in anything more than a fun work flirt, I mention my husband.......

see to me flirting is about being fun and happy and it's not OVERTLY sexual... yeah there is plenty of innuendo and I'm sure there are some very happy wives that get loved on when they get home. WIN WIN for everyone.

But if his flirting is done to stroke HIS ego (mine is not) then there would be issues.

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (29 November 2013):

sugarplum786 agony auntWhat is good for him is good for. I suggest you give him a bit of his own medicine and lets see how well he handles.

Alternatively, you need to tell him that if he does not stop and respect your wishes its the end of the road.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (29 November 2013):

llifton agony auntso hang on, i'm confused .. he's actually TELLING you he's flirting with these women? how does that go down exactly?

either way, i would not tolerate my partner flirting with another person. it's disrespectful and unacceptable. i wouldn't give him the ultimatum to stop flirting or stop telling you. i'd tell him to either stop flirting or find another girlfriend. end of story.

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