A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay, so, a little over a year ago, I met this guy, and we can call him, "Jack". so when I first walked into class the first day of school that year, he was in my homeroom, and I looked at him and thought, woah, there's something special about this boy. later i found out he was in my Math class too. we ended up sitting together in Math class. excited, i talked to him. I found out that he was really really funny, always had something funny to say to everything, and he was very very smart, liked music, and theatre. all things i find sort of attrative in a guy. after a couple days, I really started to like him.I ended up telling my best friend who we'll call "Ally" that I liked him... a lot. after about a month, Ally put a knife right through my back and told Jack that I liked him. Jack cam up to me at my locker and said, "so, I hear you like me." right then I gave him the quick, "hold on for one second" hand signal, and turned toward Ally, who was only a few lockers down from me, and said, "You told Jack!?!?" she winced and cowarded in I guess fear that I would hit her. and whispered, "sorry!" an quickly walked away. Jack circled around me to stand beside me, and asked, "well, do you want to go out with me?" a smirked and said, "okay" and he then walked away.I went through the rest of the day really happy, an on the bus ride home, one of my friends who we'll call "Brooke" was like, "congratulations!" after I told her what had happened. she then proceeded to text Jack and tell him the same thing. but Jack was confused. he told Brooke that we WEREN'T going out. I was really confused to I texted him and asked him. he said that he didn't say, "do you want to go out?" but instea he said, "i don't really want to go out with anyone." i felt so dumb. I was so embarassed. but, Jack, being my friend said, "it's okay! everyone makes mistakes. and you shouldn't be embarassed. it was my fault, I should have made what I said more clear, so that you didn't mess it up. I'm really truly sorry, and I hope we can still be friends." That's a little bit of me and Jack's history together. it's been over a year since that happened. a month after that happened, I decided that I should try to get over him, and it worked, somewhat. i started liking another guy, while still liking Jack secretivly. the other guy who I liked we'll call, "Evan". well, story of my life. I found out that, Evan liked me back. we offically became boyfriend and girlfriend. still keeping Jack in the back of my mind though. me and Evan's relationship lasted for an amazing 10 months. all though the time, denying to myself that I still had a thing for Jack. i can always remember praying that me and Jack would work together on projects, or sit together in class. I didn't know why, since I had a boyfriend that I was mad in love with at the time. I continued to deny liking him.durring those 10 months of me and Evan's relationship, I was talked to Jack and he told me that, had Ally waited another week to say that I liked him, he would have gone out with me. I was so frustrated. so I told him, "well, I'm glad it happened like it did then anyway, because I found someone better anyway!" even though i was sort of heartbroken.summer then came, and when school was a little over a month away, Evan dumped me. 2 days later, he asked me back out, still being mad in love with the boy, I of course, said yes. a month after that, Evan dumped me again. telling me that he couldn't stand lying to me about loving me anymore when he really didn't. and that he liked Brooke. I was so torn. but, that's a whole other story.school started back up again, which is currently the school year I'm in right now. the football season had started. my favorite season of sports. I went to the very first high school home game. a huge crowed of people were there. from elementary students, to college students. and of course, Jack was there too. me and Jack hung out with a group of friends. he was flirting with me all night. he would stand next to me, and get really close, he gave me piggy back rides around, and commenting on my...well, breast size, which is larger than most of my peers. towards the end of last year he had came up with the name, "ms. mellons" for me because I apparently had, "cantalopes"... this is kind of embarassing to be saying, but it's sort of important. later that night the group of friends I was with all walk over to the away team's side, where there were less people so that we could talk with out screaming. I ran ahead of the group to sit down against the fence. I wasn't exactly feeling good, for seeing Evan again kind of made me sick to my stomach, because I was still in pain over the break up. that's when Jack ran after me and sat down next to me, put his arm around me and asked me what was wrong. I blushed, and to hide it I put my head between my knees and told him nothing was wrong. he then leaned up against me and put his head on my shoulder and said, "come on, you can always talk to me." I was kind of starting to get the feeling he liked me, because Jack genrally wouldn't do this kind of stuff to girls. so I lifted my head from my knees and said, "it's Evan." and he was like "oh, I'm sorry....wait, WHEN did he dump you?" I told him about 3 weeks before school had started. and he was shocked, he was like, "it was that long ago and you're still this torn up about it?", "yes" I said. and he said "yeah, well that's how I felt when *girl* dumped me....twice."(I have no clue what her name is.) and I looked him square in the eye and said, "Evan dumped me twice too. the second time he only went out with me because he felt bad, and he was lying to me about loving me." and Jack's mouth dropped open and he said, "that's just not right. you just don't do that to a girl. it doesn't matter if you feel bad for her, because," and we both said at the same time, "it only makes it worse in the end." I smiled, and for once I felt like someone understood what I was going through. he stopped leaning against me and stood up and said, "I'm going to go find him, and I'm going to....I'm going to....I don't know!!! I'll pound his face in, or talk to him or something. but i'll be back soon okay?" he was off, leaving me with the other people in our group who were standing near by, but not paying any attention to us. when he cam back after about 5, maybe 6 minutes he seemed really mad. "I couldn't find him anywhere," he said. "but he's just not worth it right now, I'll do it in school on Monday." he pulled some money out of his pocket and said, "I'm going to get something to eat, do you want anything?" and declined but when he came back he sat down right in front of me, he put his water and hot dog in between us and said, "you should eat. have some." I took a bite of the hot dog, almost in tears, but not really so much from Evan, but more that I was so happy that this was actually happening. he had me drink some water, an then told me I could just take the rest. he got a little closer, and was like, "look at me." I looked up. I could tell that my face was red from blushing. he asked, "are you okay?? like, really, are you?" I gave a simple nod and smiled. he said, "do you need a hug?" I smiled a small smile, and whispered yes. hee hugged me, sort of awkwardly since we were sitting down. it lasted only a few seconds, but I loved every moment of it. we both sat back, and talked about random stuff for a little bit, but some how ended back up on the "Evan" subject. the smile went away from my face, remebering all the perfect things Evan had said to me, all the kisses, and all the time I spent loving him, when he felt nothing. I felt like crying. I wanted more than anything to feel love again. I guess Jack could tell that I was getting sad again, and this time, he didn't even ask, he just said, "come here, give me a hug." and we hugged, but this time he held me there for a while, then he pulled his head down and his face was really close to mine, looked me in the eyes and said, "you KNOW you're so much better than him, don't you?" and that's when I relized that I've liked Jack all along. and that I wasn't sure if i'd ever get over him completely, because there was something about him, that I just loved so much. so I quitely said, "I don't feel like that's true." and he said, "well it is." he held me in the embrace for a few seconds more then to ruin the momment, my phone started ringing. I pulled away, aplogizing, saying I needed to answer this, since it wad my mom, and she was probably saying that she was here to pick me up. when I got off the phone, I told Jack that I needed to go soon. he didn't seem to happy, but then he checked his dad's phone and said he did soon too. (he checked his "dad's phone" because he lost his somewhere, and had to use his dad's for the night.)we walked alone, just me and him back over to the home team side of the field. that's when I relized my friend had left already and there weren't a lot of people still there. he told me again, "don't ever let anyone tell you differently, you are so much better that Evan." I shyly smiled and said, "thanks" "you really are!" he said. he then said, "do you want to talk to me tonight about it? I could text you?" and I said, "that'd be nice" and I smiled and he said, " well, I lost my cell phone. I'm using my dad's right now. but when I get home, I'll look reeaally hard for it, for you, okay?" we continued to walk, talking about random things. when we got to the stairs that lead out to the parking lot he looked me right in the eyes again and said, "I need to go now, i'm sorry. but, please don't let this make you too sad. he's not worth it. I'll text you if I find my phone. bye." so we went our separtate ways and when I had just about gotten home, I got a text from him. I was so happy. the rest if the night was perfectly wonderful. he said all the right things and made me feel really good. I couldn't stop smiling. I got compliments from him over the the course of the night such as, that me boobs are big (awkward) and that I'm, "pretty hot" I really thought he liked me.the next day I waited around for a text massage from him that never came. the next day I texted him, saying hey. which that text was ignored. I turned to Ally for help. he told me I should just text him and say, "Jack, I'm really sad right now! please answer me." I thought it sounded pretty desparate, but I was pretty desparate to talk to him, so I said it. no response. the next day, Monday, I walked into school, not sure what to expect from Jack. when the day was over he had not said one word to me. I was so upset by that time, that when I went home I texted my one friend "Michelle"(not her real name). Michelle told me that Jack had just gotten a girlfriend today. I was so confused. did what happen that night mean nothing to him?! I cried a little. but the rest of the days drug on slowlyso, that's the story. now, he acts like he would any other time with me. just as old friends almost. we haven't had a real genuine conversation since then, though. I remmeber once, after a couple weeks, I started taking intrest in another guy. me and him had a "thing". we'll call this boy, "Sam". when Jack found out he walked past me in the hallway an said, "Sam? really?" and I was like yeah. and he just walked away. the whole Sam thing died really quick. since then we didn't talk up untill just last Thursday he was walking in front of me, and I yelled, "Jack! good job in the play today!" beause he had to do a preview of a play that a few students were in, in front of the school. but Jack turned around, looked at me and made a noise sort of like an, "eh" and turned and continued walking.just as an update, he now had a completely other girlfriend... :( the first one didn't last long. and now another girl! yeah, that's not right, but oh well.I decided to go to the play Friday night to see him do the rest of the play. he is an amazing singer. I hung out there with my one friend whom we'll call, "Kate" me and Kate went back stage after the show to tell him he did a good job. he seemed happy to see us, so I said "you did so good! I loved it!" and he's like, "thanks!" and smiled he and Kate talked about him being an actor, I don't remeber exactly what was said, because I blanked out for a bit. but then he looked at me, and I smiled and said, "you're wearing make up." and he said, "shut up! YOU'RE wearing make up!" I laughed and he smiled. later, I was talking to Kate, and her sister, when I looked over and I saw Jack looking at me. we made eye contact for a split second before I looked away. he came over in a few seconds and started talking to us. he eventually left, then me and Kate both left. and so goes the story.so, I'm so sorry this was so long. if you took the time to read this, thanks! so, I was wondering if anyone could tell me, why on earth had he acted so sweet, then suddenly treated me so coldly?? could anyone tell me if they think there's a chance he likes me still, even though he has a girlfriend?? because I know some people have boyfriends or girlfriends but they still like other people. I just want to know. did he like me before durring the football game? or if anyone has any advice for how to make him like me, because I still really like him. or just any advice in genral. thank you so, so much!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2010): My advice give up! he sounds like a real Jerk and you don't deserve him. or his stupid ways
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): hii...
okayy, first of all, let me just say that i REALLY enjoyed reading your post!!! it was soo descriptive--i could picture everything really clearly. i found it really entertaining to read...and i also found that it reminded me a whole lot of me. i've been in a situation extremely similar to this, and i remember it all too well...hahaa.
you've probably heard that everybody comes into our life for a reason. well, that's true. and there are times when we want nothing more than for a certain person to be brought into our life to be our soul mate...or at least some form of dating relationship. for some people, that wish comes true. for others, it doesn't...and that person just ends up being a comforting presence when we need it the most.
in my situation, the guy turned out to be put into my life just to be a comforting presence. i hate to say it (because i know that it's probably not what you want to hear), but i think that "Jack" has been brought into your life for the same reason. i'm not saying that you'll never end up being with him somewhere down the line (because you should never say never, and really, anything is possible), but right now, it sounds to me like he just wants to be friends. and you're veryy lucky that he wants to be friends, because some guys wouldn't be like that after everything (i've been in situations that ended up like that). Jack sounds to me like he's a really great guy, and you should definitely be thankful for him. ")
as for your question about whether or not he liked you, that's not something that anybody can answer except for Jack himself. and i know you've probably heard it about a million times before, but i've got to say it anyway...hahaa. you can't MAKE someone like you. you CAN, however, continue to be his friend and show him that you care about him. for example, if you see him having a rough time, offer him a shoulder to lean on and make him smile just the way that he did for you that night at the football game. if the two of you wind up dating someday, GREAT!!! if not, you lose nothing by just being his friend and having him be your friend in return. ")
good luck, and God bless,
~sarsar~
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