A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:about 6 months ago i went against all the advice of my friends and family and paid my then boyfriends phone bill for him. he said it was really high that month and he couldnt afford it so since i have more money than him, could i pay it off for him. i loved him and i agreed.he promised he would pay it back as soon as he could. anyway it turns out its not much of a surprise his phone bill was so high and he couldnt afford it - he had like 5 girls on the go and was texting and calling them all all day long. we broke up a few months ago and now he is completely refusing to pay me back. is there anything i can do? i gave him the money in cash and cant prove that i gave him it so i cant talk to my lawyer because he'll just say i didnt give him it, and anyway its not THAT much money that its worth suing or going through courts.i dont actually need the money its just the principal. i trusted him, i LOANED him money because he needed help and now hes kicked me in the teeth and is refusing to pay it back. he has refused every call, text and email i have sent about it and today he answered the phone to me ( i withheld my number!) and all he said was "you aint getting it" in this really cocky tone. i feel really stupid and embarrassed. this might sound overly dramatic but it feels like he has raped me.
View related questions:
broke up, money, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, SeanJohn  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 I really like the earlier advice about 'INTENT TO COLLECT DEBT'... makes sense.
But I'd rather forget and move on. Life's too short to keep going around in mental circles around losers.
There's plenty of good guys out there. Go get em!
A
female
reader, cristin343 +, writes (8 November 2007):
 use this as a lesson learned. DO NOT DATE LOSERS!!! and do not let it happen again.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): Well if it ain't really a big amount of money and you don't need it and are willing to lose it I guess we are talking here about the cheating in general.
The truth is you feel used because of his cheating and would like him to pay you the money or somehow to get some closure. This guy played it dirty and you are better off without him. You must be very hurt to learn about his betrayal and about how he cheated once more complaining about not having money to pay for his bill so you would pay for it even when he had stopped caring for you a long time ago and was not planning on paying you back. Obviously this guy lost respect for you a long time ago.
The only thing to do here is to go through the series of normal processes a cheated person goes through when he/she feels betrayed. Collecting all your feelings and thoughts about how much of a jerk you think he is and go to his house and yell it all out. It's not inmature at all. You should talk to him or resentment will eat you alive.
You should write down your feelings and try to keep your mind occupied. Threw away everything that reminds you of him. Change the layout of your bedroom so you'd feel you are in a new stage in your life (yes it works) Talk to your friends and family about it for support. Go out and try to have a good time once in a while. And finally learn about it so you won't commit the same mistake again.
I do not recommend any kind of revenge and/or jumping into a rebound relationship.
There's a time for everything in life. This is the time for you to learn.
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (8 November 2007):
 We all learn these lessons. I'd send him a letter in the mail. Call it INTENT TO COLLECT DEBT So if you decide to take it to court, if he doesn't respond within the time allowed, they may see it as something owed.
...............................
|
