A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months now, almost 10. I love him, I think I'm in love with him. But I don't know, how can I be sure? How can I be sure he's in love with me? He tell me he's madly in love with me, and I'm the only girl he EVER thought was beautiful, could that be true? AND, I find it hard to trust him now. In the past, he flirted with girls while he was with me; He told me it was because of his friends, he didn't have many. So when he made them, he thought he HAD to fit in. His friends flirted and stuff, so I do believe that. It still upsets me though. A few months ago he told me he'd never leave. Then he left, because he said it was best for me. Then we got back together, ever since then, I can't believe a word he says, he tells me he wants to marry me, be with me forever, I'm the only girl he ever though was beautiful, no other girl looks good to him, he's madly in love with me. It's hard to believe all of it. He's a REALLY good guy. I know he is. I tried to leave the other night and he cried and begged for hours. It was pretty bad. He's very emotional, and most guys don't show it. He really is a keeper. It's just hard trusting him after all of this. Is everything he's saying really true? Should I leave the past in the past since it's a new year and people do make mistakes. Should I just trust him? and if he does anything again, then I know it was a mistake? Also, it's so hard to be happy with him lately. I think it's because I feel so distant from him after all this happened. I can't really be that happy with him, even when he's just holding me. :/ It sucks, how can I be happy with him again like we used to be? I got happy a few times, we danced to our song, talked on the phone all night, and what not. But I wanna be happy ALL the time, when we're texting, on the phone, together. I want to get back what we had before. How can I get it back? I'd like an answer to all of these questions. I know it's a lot and I'm sorry but I just need some help. Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): Hello!
I see that you two have been thru a lot and will easily advise this relationship needs to either be repaired or broken up. At your age, assuming it is correct, it is hard to reapir simply because of lack of maturity (I say with respect to you tho, not judging).. people dont mature usually til late 20s or 30s and even then relationships can be difficult.
For you to say you want to be happy all the time is very unreasonable as relationships have their disagreements and head butts and must be dealt with and so when something goes awry, emotions can fly if expectations are high. Im no counselor however I will suggest counseling or even a self help book at a bookstore. Maybe you two could bond for an afternoon and read up on how to repair your relationship? That way literally youll both be on the same page. Good luck :)
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