A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year but he ws married before with 2 kids we have had plans this weekend his ex wife has jsut phoned an said that one of his kids is playing up and that he needed to be there so he has just dropped all our plans and drove the 160 miles im so angry, is this unfair ? it seems to happen all the time im sick of it.
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous  +, writes (19 August 2007):
He has kids and he cannot alienate them. He shouldn't have to choose between you or them, but you also shouldn't be handed the short end of the stick every time.
For more insight, I need more details...could you explain "playing up" a little more? And how often does this happen? And what were these weekend plans?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): Hi, unfortunately this is what happens when children are involved in a new relationship.
Im sure you are very important to him but his children are too. This does not reflect badly on your relationship with him it just means that you may have to step back a bit and accept that he had a past and, unfortunately for you, his children do need him.
In a way you should admire him as many men just walk away from their children, at least he is still involved in their lives.
However, you should talk to him and let him know how you feel about this. Try not to put pressure on him or make him choose between you and children. But instead ask him to allocate certain time to you and unless there is something seriously wrong then he can get his ex wife to deal with the children.
No easy answer here, sorry, but you may always have to compromise some of your relationship for the children.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): You need to talk to him about it. Although he has responsibilities - He has children and they always come first and you have to understand he wants to be a part of their life.
I know it's hard. When you talk to him tell him how angry and upset it makes you when it happens constantly and hopefully he'll understand. Does his ex partner still love him?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): i feel realy sory 4 u love i have a partner who does exactly the same all the time and this as been goin on for months now while he is away he ignores my calls and when h comes home he finks vaeryfink is ok i think he only fing to do is break up with him you desirve better
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